11.21.2013

(not so) ordinary life

My favorite picture of Jeremy with our precious first born



And so the countdown begins...

In 56 hours or less (not that I'm counting or anything), I will be holding a new little life in my arms. One small person I helped create. One tiny little reminder of what life is really all about.

My sweet little baby boy has no idea what his life represents already in this world. In a place that can be so cold, sometimes stabbing, unfair, and down right hopeless...my little miracle is a reminder that life can and will go on, and that it can and will be beautiful again.

This afternoon, I was watching my 7 year old concentrate so hard on her homework, trying to write sentences. As I watched her expressions, the curves of her face, the movements of her body, I was in awe of the fact that she used to be this 6 pound little miracle that introduced me to motherhood. I felt her daddy beam with pride at her inside me and I just couldn't stop taking her in. Memorizing all the pieces that are just her - how did she all of a sudden evolve into this beautiful young lady?! I had several of these moments today with all of my children. Maybe it's hormones, or maybe it's the clock ticking away reminding me that once again I will hold a new baby and blink an eye and he'll be 7 years old....but whatever it is, I'm trying to hold on to as many moments as I can.

I continue to be reminded of what bittersweet really means. The life of a widow seems to be plagued with this word. But maybe it's the bitter that makes us appreciate the sweet. And maybe we can only experience real bitterness because we've tasted sweet. 

One of my favorite quotes is "time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life." This epitomizes my journey. The moments that I remember and hold most dear in life really aren't the grand ones (although those are great too) but they're the ones where life stands still for just a moment and I'm able to observe and appreciate what life still brings.

I honestly cannot wait to start memorizing all the details of my son's features, hold his tiny hand, and soak in every moment I can before they slip away.  I'm excited to watch my used-to-be-broken family put one more piece back together. 

I'm ready to live out the rest of this not so ordinary life.


9 comments:

Tammie Lewis said...

Stopping by to wish you what I think is to be your "happy birthday" to your sweet little boy today or tomorrow! Saying prayers and sending love to you, Steve and all the kids on this newest blessing in your life. Wishing you nothing but happiness and blessings today.

Crossing My Fingers said...

So excited for you! Stalking your blog for an update! Love you, Vee!

glenda said...

Can't wait to hear about your lil man. Love birth/ baby stories. A new life...A new addition to your beautiful family!

Best to all of you always!
xx

Kristin said...

Excited to hear all about your new addition and the next chapter in your lives! Such a blessing!

Amy Sedor said...

When you gonna have that baby? Ugh!

Alison said...

I learned about your story and your blog over 3 years ago from a mutual friend via Fb. My heart broke for you and your children when you lost Jeremy. Every so often I would pop in and see how you were doing, never commented before though. It's been a really long time since I popped in, but I was compelled to check in again the other day. So much has happened since I last read your blog and it warms my heart to see that you have found love and happiness again, and that you have a new baby. What a blessing :) I look forward to reading more about your journey...thank you for sharing your story! <3

Alison said...

I learned about your story and your blog over 3 years ago from a mutual friend via Fb. My heart broke for you and your children when you lost Jeremy. Every so often I would pop in and see how you were doing, never commented before though. It's been a really long time since I popped in, but I was compelled to check in again the other day. So much has happened since I last read your blog and it warms my heart to see that you have found love and happiness again, and that you have a new baby. What a blessing :) I look forward to reading more about your journey...thank you for sharing your story! <3

Alison said...

I learned about your story and your blog over 3 years ago from a mutual friend via Fb. My heart broke for you and your children when you lost Jeremy. Every so often I would pop in and see how you were doing, never commented before though. It's been a really long time since I popped in, but I was compelled to check in again the other day. So much has happened since I last read your blog and it warms my heart to see that you have found love and happiness again, and that you have a new baby. What a blessing :) I look forward to reading more about your journey...thank you for sharing your story! <3

Anonymous said...

I keep checking in to see if there is any news on your new baby? I hope everything is okay.

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