Tuesday, November 9, 2010, I was living the dream. I'd been married for 7 1/2 years to the love of my life, enjoying life with two beautiful kids, and expecting our third on Valentine's Day. We were really starting to find our groove as a family financially, working jobs we enjoyed, and in the midst of great family and friends. I started this blog as a place to share family events, create, vent, and remember the details of my charmed life.
Then, everything changed in the blink of an eye.
My husband and best friend, Jeremy, died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack while out hunting. More specifically, a Hypertensive and Arteriosclerotic Cardiovascular Disease.
My world was completely flipped upside down. Some days I still find myself still suffocating in the shadow of a loss greater than anything I could have ever imagined. I felt like everything in my life was marked by this great tragedy and I was left trying to figure out how to pick up all the pieces of my broken family.
The prayers of so many carried me through. Blogging become a place of healing and raw discovery as well. I found my own two feet again in the midst of grief that still follows me around today. I also started to realize that my words and experiences were allowing insight into the grief journey for many others as well. God was building a ministry out of my story without me even knowing it. It was hard to accept that I had to endure such pain to help people, but once I did, it was blessing to realize my heartache and loss would not be in vain. Jeremy's legacy and life would not be in vain.
Almost 14 months after Jeremy died, something extremely unexpected happened: I went on a date. Something I said I would NEVER do, but God was tapping me on the shoulder with some big plans in store. After countless hours of prayer, talks with friends, and talks on the phone with this adorable guy that I'd known through friends and a guy I remember Jeremy really liking, we went on our first date.
I tried hard to resist this change God was bringing in my life. But I knew very quickly that Steve and I were meant to cross paths. Our paths were woven together well before we even knew it. Only now can we look back and see the depth and width and all the side streets that our paths have met at before.
After the most beautiful and heartwarming proposal you'll ever hear, Steve and I became engaged and then married just 2 months later. It was a whirlwind, and I gained an incredible loving man and two beautiful and tender-hearted daughters. We have a big, wonderful family and are learning what it means to love fiercely as we blend our families together.
Steve and I are very passionate about our ministry in grief together. He as a grief counselor and me with a desire to help other through tragedies like mine, we continue to strive to offer hope, healing, and redemption through our story. In doing so, it also allows me to honor Jeremy's legacy and live out the love he taught me how to share.
This blog continues to be my outlet of outpour as my grief is a never-ending process. But it also runs along side my joy and thankfulness for the second chance I've been given at life. It is a way for me to keep record of my past so that one day, I might look back and see where I've grown. It is a way for my kids to remember their daddy and to witness God's love and redemption in their lives. It's also an avenue for me to discover, through self-discovery, what God has planned for us.
Thanks for reading along, I appreciate every comment and follower. If you want to know more about my story, check out these posts:
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