6.18.2012

What would you like to know?



You may not all realize this, but I've censored a lot of my life over the last twenty months. Sure, I've had soul bearing moments and gut-wretching realizations through my own writing, but I've always weighed a lot of what I've had on my heart. Some words too dangerous to mention, some too angry, some too personal - but never at the sacrifice of my own truth. Maybe watered down a little sometimes, but real. And the moment I realized that this blog wasn't just for me anymore, I was much more aware of how to real but also meaningful with whatever I said.

I say all that to say the same has also been true for my relationship with Steve. I realize that my blog is more focused on my grief - which is ongoing and still relevant - but I know there are a lot of people reading, in the same situation in life, or just curious about a lot of different things. And I recognize that at such a big transition in our lives, we would love to opportunity to share our story, our love, and what God has been doing in our lives in a way we haven't before.

SO....Steve and I would both like to open this blog up for questions, directed for either one of us. Honest questions, tough questions, questions about our family, our unique relationship, and/or questions about grief - I know there are a lot of them out there. The only questions I will not answer are distasteful ones that are meant to bash either of us. And we all learned a few weeks ago how my amazing husband will handle anything like that :)

If there's anything you'd like to know - here's your chance.

Ask away.

67 comments:

Brooke said...

First, I think it's amazing how wonderfully open you are. I admire your strength greatly, even just as a blog reader. My questions for you are the following: how do you imagine your after-life in Heaven? You always talk about wanting to be with Jeremy again, yet now that you're married to Steve, I imagine you want to also be with him in Heaven. Is there a struggle for you with that? When you picture it, are you with one or the other, or a peaceful party of three, with both men knowing they carried a part of your life? Also, what about your burial when you pass? Will you be laid to rest with Jeremy or with Steve?

Anonymous said...

I have a question and I think maybe some other people who come upon your blog might find the answer helpful.

I was just curious how you have/will approach the idea of the kids calling Steve "dad". Adding a "step parent" to the mix when parents divorce is so much different than when a parent dies. I know you did not get married to Steve to replace your husband or the kids father. If they call Jeremy dad and Steve by his name, will that make Steve feel less connected to them? Or if they choose to call Steve "dad" will you feel like you are breaking the connection between them and Jeremy?

Donna said...

I'll start with an easy one: Where are you living? All the kids with you? Oh. I guess that's 2. I am so happy for all of you!

Anonymous said...

Do you think that you will have any more children?

Anonymous said...

Hi Vee! I am curious maybe you already answered this, but did Steve suffer a spousal loss? I was wondering how you met, and thought maybe that is what brought you together.

Vicki said...

I'd love to hear Steve's life story :)

Anonymous said...

I am curious are there going to be any little ones that join your family in the future?

Autumn Watt said...

Did Steve lose his wife?

Melissa said...

I have lots of questions.....could you talk a little about the progression of your relationship, as it moved quickly? How did you decide where you would live, and how to blend the families in general? What do Steve's daughters call you? What do your children call Steve? Do you ever feel like there is a third person in your relationship (or maybe 4, I don't know Steve's situation)?

I am happy that you found love again. May God bless you as you walk tbrough this new phase of life.

Melissa said...

I have lots of questions.....could you talk a little about the progression of your relationship, as it moved quickly? How did you decide where you would live, and how to blend the families in general? What do Steve's daughters call you? What do your children call Steve? Do you ever feel like there is a third person in your relationship (or maybe 4, I don't know Steve's situation)?

I am happy that you found love again. May God bless you as you walk tbrough this new phase of life.

Cari P said...

I started reading your blog when I heard about Jeremy's passing, and have followed your blog with many tears, prayers and anticipation for the day I could see something good that I knew (prayed) only God could do.
With that said, I would love to hear Steve's perspective on where he and his daughters life were at when he met you.

Thanks for asking!
Cari

Anonymous said...

You stated recently that you are combining houses....are you moving down there or staying here in Michigan?

So happy you found each other!

angb78 said...

Oh my goodness, I had to go back and find out what you were talking about. What a heinous comment someone left! But I am now sniffling and wiping tears from my face over what Steve wrote. What a wonderful human being you have found!

I do have a question. I'm not sure what verbal stage Carter is at, but does he/will he naturally call Steve "Dad"? And if so, is that OK with both of you?

Angela

Anonymous said...

Is the mother of Steve's girls in the picture?

And second, do you two plan on having a baby together?

Rachel :)

Megan said...

I hope this isn't insensitive... You've hinted at the fact that tragic circumstances led to Steve being single. Was he also widowed? Again, I hope that isn't insensitive or too nosy... Just curious about Steve's backstory, if that's a possible topic to touch on.

Anonymous said...

What are the children going to call both of you. Since you both are now step parents will they call you mom and dad or will you be known by something else?

Melrose said...

Do you think it's wise to make plans for the big "what if" my spouse dies or is that morbid? If so, what kinds of plans do you wish you had made with Jeremy or are you now making with Steve?

Also, how is the blending of families going for the kids? What do Steve's kids call you and what do your kids call him? Do the kids share rooms?

You two are rockstars. I went through a horrific loss of losing my dad very suddenly two weeks before my 18th birthday. He had custody of me and was my best friend. So now seeing how it shook our family and my step mom I always panic if my husband is gone any longer than I thought he would be and worry about what kinds of plans I would make...and how would life really go on?

Kendra said...

I think I remember reading that Steve lived out of state from you. So, did you move to where he was, or did he move to you in the house you just purchased? And, what about his job?

Heather said...

Oooh I'm excited for this! I've been falling your blog for some time now (and we're FB friends as well! :)) ... I guess my main question (concern?) is just how blending your families is going for y'all?? My parents were divorced when I was five, and my dad had full custody ... he was married FOUR times before he passed away a few years ago, so I know what life is like in a blended family ... just curious how it's going for y'all?? I hope it's going well! You seem to be doing so much better these days, and for that I'm really happy for you! My heart has broken for you many times over the past year and a half! Much love to you all! <3

Heather said...

Oh, I have one more! lol Are you going to continue using this blog now that you're remarried, or are you planning on starting a new blog with your new family??

sherene said...

no question, just want you to know that im so happy for you and for the kids, for steve as well.
Happy Father's Day to him..

misstish117 said...

My 27 year old husband died suddenly from heart disease (that we didn't know he had) 2 1/2 months ago. I am now dealing with the fear of those close to me just dropping dead. Did you deal with this fear? If so, are you still dealing with it? P.S. Your blog has been sooooo helpful to me over the past month and a half (after my friend let me know about it). Thank you for sharing your story. It is so comforting that there are other people going through or have gone through what I am going through. Also, congratulations to you and Steve. Your relationship is a testimony that light shines in darkness.

Paloma said...

This is sooo wonderful... thanks for being so open! I honestly don't have any questions... when I read your posts it's almost like hearing my father in law talk after he lost his wife... his thoughts are very similar to yours.. you know? the way he sees death now... his lack of fear about it (and almost certain longing for it... -without wanting to die... but ... well... you know what I mean-) ... then his thoughts about re-marriage... he wanted to be with someone because he had such a good marriage! many people didn't understand this! but having had such a wonderful wife MADE HIM WANT TO be married again! Not that anybody could replace her... but ... you learn that you need someone who loves you BY YOUR SIDE... Anyway! What am I saying? You know these things... I guess I am saying I understand a lot just from seeing him, sharing with him and knowing about his deep feelings on the topic... I also know there are judgmental people that are not even worth our time or attention... I am just blessed to see you smiling even when I don't really know you... I am thankful you've been sharing about this although sometimes I am tempted to not come back because it's too painful! Being a young wife, having little kids, having a wonderful, loving husband, and then our last name being "King" ... it just makes me feel terrified but I can just trust God and continue to admire you for your strength and courage and thank God for the fact that one day you'll be reunited with your first best friend... and thankful for the fact that you don't have to face life on your own...sorry... this is not a question at all... If I can think of anything I'll let you know. Paloma.

Heather said...

I love your blog and I have so many questions! You are such an interesting woman and writer. Yours is the first blog I click on in my RSS feed, even over close friends and family! Your words move me, challenge me, inspire me, and quite often bring me to tears over a family I've never even met. Yours is a story I feel compelled to follow. (I also voted for you almost everyday in the Top 25 contest and talk about your blog constantly to my husband. He now knows all about your blog through my verbal updates, haha.) Feel free to ignore ANY of these questions if you feel they are inappropriate and, if they are, you have my heartfelt apology because the last thing I would want to do is ask something inappropriate.

1. Do your kids still visit Jeremy's family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.)?

2. Your love for Jeremy is so evident on this blog and I have complete respect for your honesty in that area and complete respect for Steve in loving you just as you are and not expecting you to "get over" your feelings for Jeremy. That is so wonderful. One question that I keep having when I read your blog posts is (and forgive me if this is inappropriate and ignore) what you would choose if you could go back - to remain a family with Jeremy or to leave things as they are, with the lessons you've learned, and continue enjoying your family with Steve and his girls? Again, I realize this is probably an impossible question to answer.

3. How do you and Steve handle holidays you shared with Jeremy (your anniversary with Jeremy, Jeremy's birthday)?

And I really want you guys to have some fun questions to answer as well, so here's one more:

4. I'd love to know how Steve fell in love with you and how he first knew. You've mentioned that he was Jeremy's friend. I'd love to know more about how he approached you and how he fell for you. :)

DianeTaylor said...

Hi Vee and Steve - first and foremost congratulations on your recent marriage. Proof that all things are possible when God is present in our lives. My question is about grief: I just lost my only child, my son Jonathan Paul Daily in March when his apartment caught fire. After a long investigation, it was determined that is was a set of unfortunate incidents that led to him not being able to get out. My heart is so full of grief, I don't have room for any joy right now. I am so sad that this amazing young man is gone - I won't ever get to see him get married or get to be a grandparent :( I wanted to know if you could share any books or scriptures that helped you deal with the sudden loss of Jeremy. I know we have very different situations here - but the journey is the same. I find myself vascillating between anger and fear. Several books have been sent to me (Heaven is for Real was one of them). But I guess I am still searching for something to help me get thru this first hard year. Thank you both for sharing your lives with us.

~diane from Baltimore MD~

Anonymous said...

Have you been working at the daycare you were at when Jeremy was alive? If not, do you work somewhere else, or at home being a mommy? :)

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog Veronica! Anyway, my question is regarding finances. Has it been a difficult transition going from a small family to a much larger one in regards to finances?

jess m said...

you've got amazing strength and your kids are too cute!

my question: how did you ease into being intimate (emotionally, physically etc) with a new partner? did you find it was really difficult initially?

Anonymous said...

Just congratulations, your deserves all sorts of happiness and blessings.

Anonymous said...

How do you bring up death with your children? I just experienced a tragic loss and my little 2.5 year old daughter is always asking "why is mana sad" how do I explain this to my daughter?

Paloma said...

I am just reading all the questions and there are very good ones there! I Don't know why I didn't even think of them... :) Looking forward to reading the answers ... By the way... I forgot to mention that I think Steve is such an incredible guy! The way you describe him and how supportive he is to you... that's just what a real man would do but what not many men are willing to! :) So happy you have him by your side.

Anonymous said...

Hi Veronica, what are you doing now? Are you a stay at home mom or are you still teaching? How are your kids adjusting? Are they sharing rooms and adjusting like other siblings do?

Anonymous said...

Im curious, I have only been with one man and that is my husband how did you adjust sharing yourself emotionally, mentally and physically with Steve. Was it a hard adjustment?

Anonymous said...

I would live to know more about Steve and how you two came to meet and fall in love. Steve's background was very vague so im wondering if that has to do with you two getting together and meeting. Also where are you living now?? Is it the house in Rochester or some place else??

Anonymous said...

I'm dying to know: what is the story with Steve and ice cream cake?

Anonymous said...

Hi Veronica!
I am curious how do you financially do it with such a large family. I stay home with my children because daycare where I live is very expensive and with two babies in diapers, the cost would eat up my entire paycheck. I know though the loss of your husband you had such awesome support. Now that your married, how do you both blend finances?

Anonymous said...

I hope this isn't crossing the line so please excuse me. My husband and I are looking at life insurance right now because you never know what tomorrow brings. Were also working on our Will and other things of that nature. However with a tight budget already right now Life Insurance is something we always said we would get "later' because we were so focused on our day to day survival that life insurance really didn't come into the picture. With that said, Did Jeremy have life insurance and if he did, did it make grieving for his loss more double since you didn't have the extra worry of finances. From someone who has walked that awful path of losing a spouse, I am wondering if their is any advice you can give me. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This may not been what you had in mind when you said to ask questions; but would you mind sharing what phone editing software you use. Your pics have always been so beautiful!

Anonymous said...

1. Tell us Steve's story. He was talking about how his sick wife back in February 2011, so that means she was alive then. In January 2012 it was announced that he has been dating you. So in a 10 month span, he lost his wife, got over it, and stumbled upon a replacement? What's the deal?

2. You must have gotten quite a sum of money when your last husband died, because you never talk about working, and having one child is hard enough to care for, let alone 5 of them! How do you handle the finances?

3. Are you planning on having more children? Then you will have babies with 3 different names! (Steves, yours, and the mix of the two!)

4. How long after your husband had passed did you jump into bed with another man?

5. Does Carter call Steve daddy because he will never know his real dad? How about the older children? Do they know better or have they forgotten who their real dad was?

xoxo

Paloma said...

-gasp-

You were right... there are some very distasteful questions... I had no idea anybody would ask things like that... my goodness Vee! Big Hugs for you! Please don't even respond those!

You don't even need to explain why things happened what many people would consider "fast"... PRAISE GOD YOU and STEVE didn't have to be alone longer... I am sorry there are people like that... Big Hugs for you AND Steve.

Paloma said...

The Good thing is that even here in the comments... it's easy to see that there are WAY MORE people who support you and are happy for you than those with weird, bad intentions... and THAT'S awesome! :) You don't even have to respond ANY questions but you are so gracious to do this and share about your pain and about your joy with us... Thanks for that! :)

MrsV said...

My question is about your relationship with God. How was it affected by Jeremy's death?
My husband was still exploring his faith when he lost his brother and since then he has been angry/bitter/resentful towards God. He feels like God doesn't care about him, so why should he care about God. Is there anything I can do to help him through that? Do you have any books, scriptures or songs that you recommend that would help? How does one feel anger towards God, but still keep him as the creator of the universe and the ruler of your life?

Anonymous said...

When people write terrible disgusting comments do you smile inside knowing you're both better people because you have love and happiness and not years of sadness and bitterness due to lord knows what?

You have a beautiful soul and an absolutely perfect family! My real question is do you use pinterest for your crafty ideas or come up with them naturally?? Part 2 would be if you would consider becoming a wedding decorator for me to call when my time comes?

You are an incredible woman and your blog is nothing less than inspiring!!

~Love from the Great White North

Veronica said...

Wow - "Anonymous with 5 points" - you must have missed the part where she said: "The only questions I will not answer are distasteful ones that are meant to bash either of us." While maybe you didn't mean for them to be "bashing," although it sure does come off that way, you could have found a much more tactful way of asking your questions. You have no idea how their situation, individually and collectively as a couple and a family, has played out, who are you to judge? And also having more kids with Steve will not create kids with "3 different names," it's not like she just has baby-daddies everywhere. It's pretty normal for a situation like this and most people would be understanding, I'd think.

I don't know Veronica that well but your questions seemed very judgmental. I'm sure she has nothing but the best interest for her children, all 5, and her husband at heart.

(hope I'm not stepping on toes by voicing my opinion)

Jen said...

Dear Anonymous, It's so very sad that people like you have a need to want to hurt people with your words. Everyone has their own road to follow and it isn't necessarily the road you would follow but that gives you no right to be so mean.

kkhk12 said...

I am incredibly disappointed to see someone's list of 5 inappropriate questions posted here (along with the comment from a few weeks ago) and cannot believe how rude people can be. Are you unaware of what distasteful means? If so, here is the definition:

dis·taste·ful: Causing dislike or disgust; offensive; unpleasant; in poor taste; inappropriate or unethical

I guess it shows a lot about the character of this person--or lack there of. Of course it is typical that they would be anonymous, isn't it? And then you sign it "xoxo"?? Really?!?

I have been following Vee's blog for a year and half and I guess if I didn't like what I was reading-I would find something else to do with my time, as I would suggest that some other insensitive people should do. Please keep in mind that Vee still lost her husband and to have a little respect. Not only for that, but because she is a person.

Vee-I think you should delete the last comment and not even dignify it with a response.

As I mentioned, I have been following Everyday Kings for quite some time, and yes, I have wondered about a lot of the questions that have been asked. I am curious and want to know more about your family and circumstances, etc. I think it is amazing that God brought you and Steve together and that you are so incredibly happy--not only in your relationship, but with your families coming together. It is very sweet that you are willing to open up for questions and to share your story with those of that read your blog. Thank you!

I hope to keep reading about your life and your family and all of the wonderful things that happen for you. Wishing you endless happiness!!

Journey of love said...

Hi Veronica,
I see some amazing questions that I am curious about as well as some really mean and distasteful questions. However your a very classy lady and I know you will answer with grace and dignity.

Well here's my question, your grieving in such a public way, what made you want to go public about your grief and sadness.

Second I think you married a really awesome guy and Steve married a really awesome lady. I really hope you don't allow anonymous question to keep you from being the amazing person you are.

Thanks for taking time to answer our questions, I have been curious myself how you do it all. I look forward to your responses.

You have a great week!

Journey of love said...

Dear 5 point Anonymous,
XOXO Jesus loves even tho you do not love yourself at this moment in time. Like all of us, we all have questions for Veronica however you need to realize that the way you asked your questions were distasteful and inappropriate. First off Veronica is a women of God, she did not just 'Jump into bed with another man", the relationship Veronica has with Steve is one that is blessed by God and was done in a very Godly manner.

Second, Carter has one dad and that is Jeremy, just because Jeremy died before Carters birth does not mean Steve will jump and "replace" who Jeremy was.

and lastly, I ask you to please not put this family though anymore emotional Trauma. Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things next to losing a child that any person will go though. I really hope the next time you feel like you need to post, that you rethink your actions.

I will be praying for you and I hope you find the peace and happiness you so desperately need.

Heather said...

Veronica, I left a comment earlier with a few questions and I am just now reading through the new questions. I am so disgusted and upset by the anonymous comment and I wanted to share this Bible verse.

"Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach." -1 Timothy 5:14

As a young widow, you were literally following Scripture when you and Steve married and brought your families together. I am so sorry you have to deal with comments such as these - after all you've been through, I can't imagine how distasteful/hurtful some people can be. Not to mention the hypocrisy in their self-righteousness!

Cari p said...

Heather,
Amen, Amen,
The new King-Cunningham family owe us no answers, yet have opened up their hearts to questions as a way to help, educate, bless, and encourage all of us who may not have walked the same road, but have stumbled, hurt, cried and prayed. We, I, am always seeking to know, learn, understand our Gods great plan. Everyday King Blog has been a blessing to me. Thank You for sharing...even a small part of your heart and life with us. I have been blessed.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to go ahead and bet that this same "anonymous" that has posted in this section, is the same one from the other. The problem with this person is that they lead miserable, lonely, lives... And the only thing that gives them any sort of comfort is knowing that they aren't the only ones. What a kick this "anonymous" must have gotten from all the attention in the previous blog post... I bet they just couldn't wait to stir it all up again. Job well done, "5pt anonymous"... You have definitely stirred it up again. But, what I'm hoping Veronica and Steve realize is that you are nothing but a elementary school bully that never grew up... Aren't you? You are so insecure, and have such little self-worth that every time you knock someone down, you think you look ten feet taller. News flash, may have worked when you were 6 or 7 but we're all adults here and YOU should probably get into some counseling because your going to live a MISERABLE life if you don't change your nasty and hurtful ways. But, please! By all means... Go ahead and read my comment and everyone else's that are in return to yours, and let yourself believe that for the 2 minutes and 48 seconds that it took for me to write this you were actually important. Because, after all, that is the only reason you put up such a comment. But, just trust me when I tell you...all these people only returned comments bc they care about Veronica and Steve. You, on the other hand, probably won't take up another nanosecond of space in their brains, or mine. So, stop with the desperate, 6 year old, cry for attention. Grow up! Go to therapy! You need it, man!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't have any questions for you Veronica, but I do for the jerk who posted the distasteful 5 questions for you.

How in the world could you be so heartless to someone who has been through so much? I couldn't ever even imagine saying these things to someone who has been through the things that she has. Sounds like you may have some severe jealousy/insecurity issues that you should probably work on getting help for, rather than hating on Steve and Veronica's life to make you feel better about yourself!

Anonymous said...

I think that your new blended family is one of love, faith and genuine family values. I commend you. Your children will only benefit from this addition of siblings and another "parental figure." I think it's fabulous and Steve seems like a very intelligent guy.

My question is this-
Knowing how Jeremy had so many close guy friends who felt he was like a brother, have you felt any "judgement" or "ill feelings" from some of his closest guy friends... meaning- are his closest and dearest guy friends struggling with the fact that they may perceive that you "replaced" him? It's clear to all that you did not replace, but I guess I could see a friend dealing with grief/loss seeing it that way. Just wondering how his guy friends are connecting with you in light of your new path, new family and recent marriage. Do all of Jeremy's old friends still make the same effort around staying connected now that you're in a different stage of your grief?


It appears that you're very self aware and clear about your grief, and I don't perceive that you "jumped" into another relationship or marriage casually. Love leads you down unexpected paths sometimes, and I think it's wonderful that you've found someone who you can share part of your heart with.

Wishing you two all the very best!

agata said...

My questions are the following:

- What's your favourite food ever? Something that makes you drool just thinking about it. It can be a dish or a type of food (ie. cheese, bread etc).

- What's your favourite time of day?

- If you could be an animal what would you be and why?

And lastly,

- When you drive up to Canada next time, want to stop by in Hamilton for a BBQ? You're all invited.

My love and prayers to you, Steve and your beautiful children.

- agata.

Pam said...

My question is: When are you going to answer all of the questions? :) Seriously, though, most of what I've found myself wondering has already been asked.

Please take comfort in the fact that the vast majority of your readers do not share the same views as Anonymous Jerk. I don't know why anyone would want to purposefully case pain or anger to someone else, especially someone who has been through so much.

If you don't like Veronica's blog or don't agree with her choices, you don't have to read it. Spending so much time trolling the comment section on a blog that you clearly disrespect says so much about your own priorities. Veronica seems to have a very clear head when it comes to grief, and Steve is a freaking grief counselor. I think they are qualified to take the right steps.

Anonymous said...

I remember reading a post about not wanting to take your ring off yet, and not knowingw when you would be ready. I don't know if you've already written about this, but when did you take it off? And, do you still wear Jeremy's on a necklace?

Anonymous said...

Hello!
Sometimes when people experience the death of a loved one, there's an outpouring of support right away... but after the dust settles, and the funeral is over, the support dwindles.

In your situation, did you have the outpouring of support at the beginning and notice that it tapered off?

OR

Was the support consistent all the way along?

Just wondering (based on the kind of support you rec'd from your friends, family, church, neighbours, etc) if a certain amount of support made your journey easier or harder.

In your view- what's the best "action" any of us can take if we ever find ourselves trying to support someone who's grieving?

Anonymous said...

Your photos from the wedding are stunning!! Congrats on your new family.

Whenever people go through some of life's biggest moments (marriage, divorce, death, birth of new lives, relocation, career change, etc)... sometimes friendships change.

Have you experienced changes in friendships based on what you've been through? Has it made friendships stronger or has it strained them?

You've been through SO MANY of life's big changes... Jeremy's death, moving to a new home, new baby, and now additional family members to complete and add love to your home. It appears you have handled things so gracefully and almost seamlessly...

For some of the realists who read the blog, it might be good to have some insight around "if you are the widow...the one going through all of the change, what should you be prepared for inside of your friendships?"

The only constant in life is change... and Vee- you wear it well.

God Bless.
LT

Anonymous said...

Not really a question but more of a comment/idea...

I also read "Heart Cries" (and love love love love that blog!)

I remember that she did a really amazing interview style bunch of videos on her blog when she was answering a bunch of questions with her first son's birth mother...

Would you ever consider adding some "video blog entries" so we can hear from you and Steve verbally!?

I think that would be kind of cool!!

Anyhoo- have a FAB night and I think so many of us look forward to your next blog entry!

Anonymous said...

Have you or will you receive any professional counseling?

Anonymous said...

Does Steve allow you to keep pictures of Jeremy up in common areas of the house? Does he allow you to mourn Jeremy on Jeremy's birthday, death-day, and wedding anniversary you shared with him? Are you allowed to "visit" Jeremy? I ask these because there is this very popular guy online who encourages people who marry widow(er)s to force the widow(er) to extricate the deceased spouse from their life completely, never again speaking of them or visiting the cemetery or anything, and calls grieving people selfish if they want to do these things. If that is what I have to do to find love again, then I can do without it. I will never extricate my deceased husband from my heart. Ever.

Anonymous said...

HI~
I have been following your blog since you posted about your loss.
I have shed many tears for your family as well.
My question is this: How does Steve feel reading your blog when you talk about missing and loving Jeremy and not being able to wait to be reunited with him in heaven? I know he is a kind, understanding man, but it has to hurt him just a little? I love how you are so honest about your feelings though.

Congrats on your marriage and I'm looking forward to this new journey with you!

VinGirl said...

I have read your blog for a while now, and shed many tears for you and the unimaginable loss you suffered. I've been so inspired by your honesty and vulnerability, and the candor you've shown through your journey. I think it is wonderful to see you genuinely happy in the pics you've shared, and I know that your children have to be feeling the happiness inside you as well, which can only do good things for them. My question is, would you give yourself a hug from me? :P Not in some weird stalkerish way, but really, you deserve one. :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with so many of the posts, yet please allow me to give unsolicited advice.. Love Steve with All your heart, Honor him, as I know he will honor you. Your Jer was an amazing man, he is your past , Steve is your future.... Blessings to you sweet girl...

Anonymous said...

One of the above commenters is clearly a very bitter, sad person and I'm sorry for that. But we all need to understand that we aren't owed anything by Vee and Steve!! (Most of us know that :) )

I think my question is, are you angry at God? How did you get over that/how are you getting over that? If that is too personal, feel free to tell me to shove off of course!

Anonymous said...

My question is for Steve...Vee is a beautiful woman, no doubt she could have been a covergirl if she really wanted to. She also has 3 cute little cheruby cuddly kids...all this in addition to a big loving heart and commitment to God. I admire her. I, on the other hand have 2 teenage boys (who are really good kids, I'm lucky, but they aren't cuddly), and I'm no where near being a covergirl. I'm almost 50, graying hair and I'm starting to get wrinkles. Lucky for me, I'm a size 4, the only thing I have going for me (although my stomach is very flabby due to a C-section). As a bereavement counselor, what advice would you give me to find someone as wonderful as you? I feel as if I'm going to have to settle for the first shmoe to come along since I am not beautiful. (One guy told me he would be with me if I supported him and let him move into my house...he doesn't have a job and got kicked out of his apt., and he said I should take his offer since I'm not pretty and won't ever find anyone else anyway...I didn't take the "offer"). Please give me some advice. I'm so lonely for the kind of love Vee has found with you. I used to be so happy when my husband was alive because he thought I was beautiful but no one else ever will. What should I do? (I realize this may not be the forum for this exactly, but I really need advice and Vee said we can ask anything. I don't know where to turn. My friends are sick of hearing it.)

Anonymous said...

This comment is spurred by Steve's post about his past...

Now we know that Steve is divorced and that there is a mom in the picture, albeit the wack-job she seems to be. How do her visits with her daughters affect your relationship with the girls? I know you said that you love them and they love you, but they are not teens yet and someday wacky mom might offer them things like freedom to do as they please when they are teens, just to make trouble in your household. How will you handle this practically? Are you prepared for it? Are you ever worried she will bad-mouth you to the girls? The family you created seems so near to perfect that I wonder if you or Steve are ever afraid that the mom will try to destroy it.

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