I promise I'm still here! I apologize for the long overdue post. I wrote this for tomorrow's post on Widow's Voice, but I thought I'd share here to fill in a few people. I will be back soon.
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Well, things around here never seem to quite slow down. And lately, in particular, they've sped up into super speed! Steve accepted a new job position in Parkersburg, West Virginia. Oh, and we move next week! We are taking a ride on the crazy train and loving every minute of it. Well....almost every minute.
While I am thrilled for this new opportunity for our family and ready to start fresh together somewhere, I will be honest and say that initially, I was not ok with moving so far away. There are a lot of different things that factor into that, but one of the reasons is certainly because this place is home to me. I've lived in Michigan my entire life and this area in particular is where I went to college, it's where my children were born, it's where I've worked, it's where my friends are, it's where I discovered who I am.....it's where Jeremy is.
This is where he was and always will be. There will be no more moving for him. This place will always be associated with him. His memorial stone is here, his job and church is here, his friends are still here. And leaving this place sometimes feels a lot like leaving him.
I will say that I've been through enough transition over the past few years that I know this is not the case. I won't be leaving him behind. I will carry him with me wherever I go. It will be difficult to make new memories in a place where Jer will never step foot and to make new friends that will never know of my life "before" but I know I could never completely leave this place behind. I will be back often.
I have found so much peace about moving since that initial idea hit me...I don't know where it came from. I'd like to think some of it is Jeremy's blessing to keep moving forward with a life he always wanted for me. Either way, I am jumping into the great unknown leaving a piece of my heart here in this place, but looking forward to filling more spaces in my heart with new experiences and new people.
7 comments:
Wow! What a whirlwind for you! Guess that's nothing new though. Good luck with the move and the fresh start. I have missed reading your blog. Thanks for the update.
"I am jumping into the great unknown leaving a piece of my heart here in this place, but looking forward to filling more spaces in my heart with new experiences and new people".<<< this is beautifully said! Best to you and your growing family in this new journey. May you all be blessed with new experiences and much love and peace.
How is your little one (in your tummy) doing? and when are you due? best to you and the little one as well!
I've responded to your posts before. I had an ex boyfriend die over 13 years ago now and when I simply moved from the apartment I was living in when I heard of his death I felt like I was moving further away from him. It was even worse when I moved from the town. That was 13 years ago and he wasn't my husband, so I think your thoughts would be very normal. When I go back I feel closer to him simply because of the memories. There were places I couldn't go to for a while because of the pain, but, like you the anticipation was worse than the actual event. Good Luck with your move. Jeremy will always be with you no matter where you go.
It would be so hard to leave behind everything that you love & where you became the person you were designed to be. But, they say change is good & it would be very exciting to start new memories with your family. I wish you the very best life has to offer. Please dont ever stop writing you have helped me & thousands of widows with your experiences, loss, sadness, new love and most of all hope. Hope that we will survive our pain from the loss of a spouse. God Bless!
I live in WV and it will be home to you in no time. Can't wait to hear about your new adventures here. God go with you.
Ah, there you are. Missed reading about you, lady! Excited for your family and their new journey ahead and hope the pregnancy is progressing well. Take care and update soon!
Congrats to you and your new adventure! Praying it goes smooth.
I'm also doing a little giveaway for a custom bib/burp cloth on my blog if you are interested for your little peanut!
:)
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