Over the course of the last few weeks, I feel like I've had a lot to say. But I haven't been able to get any of it down. Actually, I think of a million things to say each day and forget by evening. I'm guessing that's widow brain.
Honestly, things are busy. My kids were all sick (spent the night in the hospital with Carter for pneumonia), I'm getting close to closing on a house so I've been trying to pack up a little at a time, and I've been able to spend some time with friends this week. And through everything, I'm noticing that every day it gets easier to breathe. Just a hair, but it's worth something. I'm starting to see back-to-back consecutive days where I'm okay. Again, that's worth a lot.
Yesterday marked 5 months. I can hardly believe it. And what really struck a heartstring was me realizing that even after 5 months, when I thought for sure people would have forgotten, I am STILL being blessed by so many. I can't tell you how many times I've sat down to write thank you cards. But I have no idea where to start, and half the time, I don't even know where to send them. There is just no possible way I could come close to getting it done. And while I know people aren't reaching out in hopes to get a measly thank-you card from me, the thank you is still on my heart.
Thank you first and foremost for every.single.prayer. that has been put up on our behalf. I have literally felt them some days holding me up. And we still need them.
Thank you for the hundreds, maybe even thousands of cards I've received in the mail and through other places. I've read every one. Just knowing someone is thinking about our family means a lot.
Thank you for the care packages, gift cards, prayer quilts and shawls, and the random gifts for the kids that have come to us. We've been overwhelmed with love.
Thank you to my incredible church family. And when I say incredible, I mean I don't know how I would have gotten through this mess without them. I've never been more honored to call a church home.
Thank you to all the other congregations who have added us to prayer lists, sent cards because they were connected with Jeremy in some way, or who donated to our family.
Thank you to those who have donated money to our family. It's taken a lot out of me to be able to accept monies, but I know so many people who have seen the need and want to help making breathing easier for all of us. It means more than I could ever say.
Thank you to my friends who have been my rock. Jodie, Vicki, Tamara, Mark, Jon, Holly, John, Bekka, Stephanie, DeeperStill, the Utley's, and so many more. Especially to my sweet Sarah, who will never know the magnitude of love she has taught me, or the imprint she has made on my heart. No one could have a better friend.
Thank you to the Robinson's who have taken us under their wing as an extended part of their family, let us nap at their place when we were too far away, babysat for us, fed us, and let us sit around your house for hours. I love you all so much.
Thank you to all the incredible people who have coordinated events to honor my husband. The memorials, the birthday party, the pheasant hunt, the concerts - It's warms my soul to know people are still keeping Jeremy's memory alive.
Thank you to my family, for being a support. And to Jeremy's family for grieving with me and still allowing me to still be a part of their lives. They will be my family forever.
Thank you to the men who have come to fix things, clean things, repair things, and have wrestled with my children. You are priceless.
Thank you to the women who have cleaned my house, coordinated things for me when I was too cloudy to do anything, stood by me, cried with me, and prayed with me. You are a blessing.
Thank you to the teens who have reached out. Teens who have been touched by Jeremy's ministry, or have heard us sing, teens at Gulf Coast and other rallies. For the letters, for the sacrifices, for the babysitting, for the song dedications, for the emails and cards. What hope you all give to my heart.
Thank you to the kind strangers, around the world, who have reached out. It gives me hope for my children's future to know that there are still so many good people out there.
There has to be so many more, I don't even know how to cover everything that I have been blessed by over the last 5 months. Thank you all for teaching me about love, sacrifice, and prayer. Thank for you taking the time to pray for us when there are so many other things going on in the world. Thank you for your encouragement, advice, and shared experiences. If you have reached out in any way, thank you. Know that for even for just a moment, you have planted a seed of healing on my heart.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.