Thank You

Over the course of the last few weeks, I feel like I've had a lot to say. But I haven't been able to get any of it down. Actually, I think of a million things to say each day and forget by evening. I'm guessing that's widow brain.

Honestly, things are busy. My kids were all sick (spent the night in the hospital with Carter for pneumonia), I'm getting close to closing on a house so I've been trying to pack up a little at a time, and I've been able to spend some time with friends this week. And through everything, I'm noticing that every day it gets easier to breathe. Just a hair, but it's worth something. I'm starting to see back-to-back consecutive days where I'm okay. Again, that's worth a lot.

Yesterday marked 5 months. I can hardly believe it. And what really struck a heartstring was me realizing that even after 5 months, when I thought for sure people would have forgotten, I am STILL being blessed by so many. I can't tell you how many times I've sat down to write thank you cards. But I have no idea where to start, and half the time, I don't even know where to send them. There is just no possible way I could come close to getting it done. And while I know people aren't reaching out in hopes to get a measly thank-you card from me, the thank you is still on my heart.

Thank you first and foremost for every.single.prayer. that has been put up on our behalf. I have literally felt them some days holding me up. And we still need them.

Thank you for the hundreds, maybe even thousands of cards I've received in the mail and through other places. I've read every one. Just knowing someone is thinking about our family means a lot.

Thank you for the care packages, gift cards, prayer quilts and shawls, and the random gifts for the kids that have come to us. We've been overwhelmed with love.

Thank you to my incredible church family. And when I say incredible, I mean I don't know how I would have gotten through this mess without them. I've never been more honored to call a church home.

Thank you to all the other congregations who have added us to prayer lists, sent cards because they were connected with Jeremy in some way, or who donated to our family.

Thank you to those who have donated money to our family. It's taken a lot out of me to be able to accept monies, but I know so many people who have seen the need and want to help making breathing easier for all of us. It means more than I could ever say.

Thank you to my friends who have been my rock. Jodie, Vicki, Tamara, Mark, Jon, Holly, John, Bekka, Stephanie, DeeperStill, the Utley's, and so many more. Especially to my sweet Sarah, who will never know the magnitude of love she has taught me, or the imprint she has made on my heart. No one could have a better friend.

Thank you to the Robinson's who have taken us under their wing as an extended part of their family, let us nap at their place when we were too far away, babysat for us, fed us, and let us sit around your house for hours. I love you all so much.

Thank you to all the incredible people who have coordinated events to honor my husband. The memorials, the birthday party, the pheasant hunt, the concerts - It's warms my soul to know people are still keeping Jeremy's memory alive.

Thank you to my family, for being a support. And to Jeremy's family for grieving with me and still allowing me to still be a part of their lives. They will be my family forever.

Thank you to the men who have come to fix things, clean things, repair things, and have wrestled with my children. You are priceless.

Thank you to the women who have cleaned my house, coordinated things for me when I was too cloudy to do anything, stood by me, cried with me, and prayed with me. You are a blessing.

Thank you to the teens who have reached out. Teens who have been touched by Jeremy's ministry, or have heard us sing, teens at Gulf Coast and other rallies. For the letters, for the sacrifices, for the babysitting, for the song dedications, for the emails and cards. What hope you all give to my heart.

Thank you to the kind strangers, around the world, who have reached out. It gives me hope for my children's future to know that there are still so many good people out there.

There has to be so many more, I don't even know how to cover everything that I have been blessed by over the last 5 months. Thank you all for teaching me about love, sacrifice, and prayer. Thank for you taking the time to pray for us when there are so many other things going on in the world. Thank you for your encouragement, advice, and shared experiences. If you have reached out in any way, thank you. Know that for even for just a moment, you have planted a seed of healing on my heart.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.


Courtney said...

I think of you often and pray for you always.

Val said...

I've been here with you everyday, Veronica. Sending you and your precious babies love and blessings! I'm so thankful to hear that you are having some back to back ok days. You need them and deserve them.

Love and blessings to you and all the extended family who needs it.


Andrea said...

Beautiful heartfelt post. What a perfect example of Christ that we "the church" has demonstrated. This brought tears to my eyes. I continue to pray for you and your children.

m&msmommy said...

I am SO happy to read that breathing is getting easier. Something that SO many of us take for granted, but it has to be such a struggle just to breathe when dealing with this sort of heartache! I've been praying for you since I came across your blog and I will continue to pray for you and your beautiful children. We don't know one another, but please know that Jeremy, you, your family, has touched my heart in unimaginable ways.

Love and prayers,
Christina Gomez

Kendra said...

ive missed hearing from you,but i know your life is busy! thinking of you & your babies always. I hate that your kids have been sick,i hope they are feeling better..much love to ya'll!

Glenda said...

Congrats on the new home. I'm so happy for you that you are able to breathe a little. Stay strong for yourself and for the kiddos.

Continued prayers going out for you and the kiddos.

Lucy Marie said...

Bless your heart, Vee. And know that you are never, ever far from mine.

Denise said...

We don't need the thanks. Just knowing that you are a hair's breadth closer to breathing, leaning on God, making it through one moment at a time, we know you are grateful.
I am praying for you daily!

Vicki said...

I LOVE the comment "you have planted a seed of healing on my heart". What a beautiful thought, Vee. I feel a song coming on... :) Seriously, though, we're so glad that each of us can help plant those seeds...I'm so glad to hear they are starting to work. Any healing for you is a beautiful gift to us in return. And, as you continue in your journey of healing, know that we will be here on the days you fall back a step or two...and the days you need to be reminded of how much we still miss Jeremy (along with you) - although we're still taking steps forward. XOXO

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

Prayers and hugs always! Thank you for sharing your story with us and for being the strong woman that you are.

Lane said...

Hi Veronica, I am praying for you and your family lots and lots. You are teaching a great lesson to me about how wonderful and precious life is. Thank you. I wanted to tell you about the sermon I heard on Sunday at my church, of course about Lazarus and Jesus and how God is always with us. God was with Jeremy when he died and cries along with you that he is gone, I'm sure of it. Here is a link to the sermon, http://wsumc.com/wp-content/uploads/4.10.11.pdf. God Bless you Veronica.

Sarah Beth said...

Love you :)

A Young Widow's Rant said...

I have been reading your blog for sometime. I just recently became a widow in Feb, when my husband passed away at the age of 33. I find it so encouraging that us widow's have a kind of journey together. . .this was my blog post from last night and is resonates with yours from today so mysteriously :)


You seem to have an amazing amount of support - but I wonder if you are on widowed village yet? It's an online community for widows and it is an amazing resource. Anyway, just wanted to reach out and say I'm praying for you guys!


The Better Baker said...

Precious and beautiful!!! What sweet words. You are always on my heart and in my prayers, even though we've never met, but we are family in Jesus. Praise Him for all He's accomplishing in your life.

katherinemary said...

I am one of the hundreds who know you, but you don't know me. I want to let you know that I think of you every.single.day and say prayers for you and drop tears for you. I honestly do. I cry for you every day and through those tears, plead with God for you. My husband even knows you by name now, because I speak of you all the time. What a blessing you had to be married to such a wonderful man. And to know, now, that he is reaching so many people for Christ's name. I hear songs every day that remind me of you and your story. So many of them that I want to come here and tell you about. I am finally sitting down to tell you the lyrics of this one. I assume you have heard of Hillsong, this is "Never Let me Go" and this was my prayer for you this morning, on the way to work, with a tear soaked face, sobbing, and praying.

In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke through the darkness and lifted me
and I know You'll never let me go

In the storm, in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
and I know You'll never let me go

Oh love in the shadows be the light who leads me on
Your love I will follow
Be my guide, Your will be done
Oh Lord

In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
and I know You'll never let me go

Oh love in the shadows be the light who leads me on
Your love I will follow
Be my guide, Your will be done
Oh Lord I surrender
Now forever I belong in the love of the father
You are faithful, You are strong
So hold me now

In this life as I walk these streets
Love open my eyes, show me what You see
and I know I'll never let You go.

Thank you for your openness and allowing us to pray for you daily. Lots of love,

Katie said...

Vee. . .oh, you courageous, Godly woman. Know that Gold Greek in Mill Creek, WA., lifts you up in prayer.


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