What I have found is that many day to day moments become so anticlimactic without someone to share them with. And most of them are moments with our beautiful, brilliant, hilarious children - and I have no one who understands just how magnificent they are in those little moments.
Like when Carter learns something new. Of course he does and will continue to, but I want to pick up my phone and text you about it, cause you'll find it just as exciting.
Or when Caleb started riding his bike without training wheels and I had to hold back tears that you were missing it! That should have been a father/son moment....instead I frantically searched for people who might be excited about such a milestone to share it with.
Or when Faith got her first loose tooth tonight. I could see the excitement in her eyes - a mark of a growing girl. I wanted to jump up and down for her, and she can't wait to tell everyone at school tomorrow. Such a silly moment that had me giddy for her and falling apart on the inside cause I just wanted to turn around and see your face there. "Look, babe! Our baby girl is getting so big - she's got a loose tooth!" I say in my head. "No way, not my little princess....that's amazing!" you say back. All while our little blonde haired blue eyed angel smiles from ear to ear with pride. And when we laid in bed together later, we'd talk about how unbelievable it is that our little girl is growing so fast.
These are the moments families are made of. And no matter how much we talk about you or draw you in our family pictures or incorporate you into our lives, you're still missing the big stuff. The itty-bitty, insignificant to anyone else but us, big stuff.
I miss you babe. Every day.
I love you always.
8 comments:
"frantically searched for people who might be excited about such a milestone to share it with"
Yes.
hey girlie,i know its completely different circumstances,but my mama & i were the very best of friends,and when she passed so suddenly i felt like in a way she was gone forever,but in a way shes watching from above,and i know how hard it is to try & know that they are watching & w/ us in the bad & the good times,much love to you & your beautiful babies vee! may God bless ya'll.
I know he may not physicially be there to experience, but by god I bet he is up there cheering his heart out for those kids, and you! Stay strong as Im sure you are!!!
I know no one can ever take Jeremy's place in your family, but I do appreciate all the little milestones of watching your children grow up! I know the joys of riding without training wheels, the babbling that becomes words, the first loose tooth, those are all such exciting moments! Thank you for sharing with us, your readers, as we pray for you and your family!
stay strong sweet lady. he is watching down on you and over your adorable children. he sees everything they are doing. you are not alone.
Nothing is like having him right there... not knowing he's watching, or that he would be just as excited. and I'm so so sorry for that. I wish it could be different. Because you are so right as parents we just get excited over things like poop and teeth and words! and while we are setting off fireworks others say... "awe that's cute." you're right it's just not the same...oh how desperately I wish it was. All my love to you and your AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL babies.
yes.
Because of you, I'll make sure to cherish those "itty-bitty, insignificant to anyone else but us, big stuff" moments :)
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