1000 words

They say a picture is worth 1000 words.
I say a picture is priceless.


Your sister and brother-in-law are here visiting, and it's soooo good to have them here. Every time I hang around them, it makes me ache to be closer to them more often. But this time April brought with her pictures of you for me to scan, some of which I'd never seen before. Some of you as a child, some of us dating, some of you with your nephews. All so precious. What a wonderful gift. And even though it's horrible that it comes down to me having to hold onto you through pictures, I found myself actually happy to see them, to see you.  More healing than painful, I never feel like I have enough pictures.


There are a few pictures that tug at my heart. 

This picture of you fishing with Jack was the one that almost made me tear up. Aside from being an incredible dad, you were an amazing uncle. I loved how much you talked about missing them and wanting to hang out with them when they were away. You were so good about spending quality time with them.

This picture made me smile, mostly because it's one of the few early pictures of us that I don't hate me in. But also because we look so young. This was when we were dating, before we got engaged. I still remember that feeling of elation just from being with you and around you.

There are a lot of sweet pictures of you and Faith together, but I had not seen this one before. I can't believe how much Carter looks like her right now. I can't wait to make a scrapbook for the kids of all their pictures with you.

Ahhh, this is my favorite. I love this picture because this is the way I remember you. Something about it makes me wanna reach out and touch you and never let go. 

The worth of these pictures to me could never be measured. 1000 words would never do them justice. My life, my love, my past, my future, my family, my world - are all within these pictures. When I go through them all, I get a little glimpse of you and your heart, which is so so precious to me.

I miss you baby. There is still a giant hole in the universe where you should be.

I love you always and forever.