The last week has been madness. So many things going on, so many loose ends to tie, so many reminders of how my world has been flipped upside down.
I've been wanting to blog, but don't know what to say. I don't know how to go back to 'normal'. I don't know how to move on from all of this without sounding trite, or forgetting the affect this has on every facet of my life. I've been journaling and writing one long, continuous letter to Jeremy but a lot of it is uncensored, angry, and hard to swallow. And I didn't want every entry to be written to him, but that's the easiest way to get my feelings out and feel like he is still listening right now.
So, I guess I can start by telling you about my day yesterday. What a whirlwind! Some of you already know, but I got an incredible visit yesterday from the local radio station, Channel 955, who brought with them a truck full of Christmas presents, furniture, gift cards, food, a Christmas tree, and my sweet friend, Sarah, who nominated me for the "Breaking and Entering Christmas," for families who are experiencing misfortune during the holiday season.
They woke me up at 7am, and filled my living room with joy. I beg of you not to look at the pictures of the 7-o'clock-just-got-out-of-bed-crying-and-haven't-showered look I was sporting, but the podcast will give you a better idea, and you can hear the letter that Sarah submitted (which quoted this blog, btw):
(There are 2 parts, both dated 11/30/2010)
I spent the rest of the morning on the phone, on Facebook, talking to everyone and anyone, watching my kids play with their new toys, and trying to walk through my house. It was craziness.
If that wasn't enough, some of the staff from our church came over to go over my finances with me. They've got some well educated people willing to help and I'm so grateful, as finances were my second biggest worry after our beautiful kids. They've allowed me to cut my debt in half already, just through making those horrible phone calls I didn't want to make. What a blessing.
I went on to tie up some more loose ends over the phone, while Sarah (my other amazing friend Sarah, who I've blogged about before, and is moving in with me) cooked dinner for friends coming over. After dinner, all our friends helped us pack up the basement to prepare for the demolition and remodel that some incredible people have volunteered to do for us.
The truth is, I smiled more yesterday than I have in 3 weeks. I'm so grateful for all of these people that are doing so many things to try and ease the pain. But it is all bittersweet. Seeing my house filled with gifts made me wanna cry because Jeremy didn't get to see the joy on the kids' faces. Watching our financial burden decrease made me sad because Jeremy wouldn't get to benefit from it with me. Packing up the basement was hard, watching all of Jer's stuff get put aside, packed away, and taken down. I wanted to crumble knowing all these things that Jeremy wanted to do for his family were getting accomplished without him.
I went to do a load of his laundry before bed last night....totally oblivious to the impact it might have. I didn't think anything of it till I lifted up one of his dress shirts to my face, smelled the faint hint of his cologne, and my knees gave out from under me. I sat and sobbed over the basket of dirty laundry that I inevitably was unable to put in the washer to forever erase the scent of his presence.
I hate that I had to lose everything that mattered in my life for these blessings to occur. I wish I could give them all back if it meant I could bring him back to me. People keep speaking of all the good that has come of this tragedy - I've seen so much already - and yet selfishly I can't find enough good to justify the suffering my family has to face.
Today, I am going to finally visit Jer's tree stand, the spot where he fell. Since he's buried in Canada, I wanted to have a place close by that I could honor Jeremy, and set up a place for the kids and I to visit, pray, talk, bring gifts, etc. I've already got a box full of letters and pictures from the kids. I know it won't be easy, but I feel like I need to be there. And I know Jeremy will be there with me.
288 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 288 of 288My gift to you is a favorite prayer:
The light of God surrounds you
The love of God enfolds you
The power of God protects you
The presence of God watches over you
Wherever you are God is and all is well. Lots of hugs and love to you!
My fiance passed away when I was pregnant with his son. My son is now my pride and joy and he is the reason I live. You will find bittersweet happiness in your baby. God bless.
Hi - I read your blog and I think it's so wonderful that you've been surrounded with such love, support and outpouring of good things from people around you. I know it doesn't make your loss any easier, but I do hope it helps you realise that there is so much love out there in the community and so many of us sending you love and huge, cyber-hugs as you cope with your new circumstances. Good luc, you're in my thoughts and in my heart. Mo - Australia.
Your honesty and bravery in light of such enormous tragedy is astounding, moving, and inspirational. I will lift you and your family high in prayers. Peace to you.
I AM SO SORRY! I cannot understand what you are going through, but I will say you are surrounded by love and the comfort of the Lord. I am certain you will come through this!
Blessings!
Dear Vee,
My eyes well up with tears as I read your story. I want you to know that I will be praying for you and your children every day. You are an amazing mother and a wonderful person. I can tell that your smile is the kind that could light up a town- don't ever feel guilty for smiling, you're beautiful! Jeremy is in heaven looking down and protecting your beautiful family, and you will eventually reunite for eternity. Stay strong and continue to feel blessed by all the love you are surrounded by. I don't know you but I sincerely mean everything I say. Hugs, love and prayers from New York... God bless!
Alyssa
God bless you and your beautiful family. You are so brave to share this with us online. I am honored to have the chance to now follow your blog, and have the opportunity to rejoice with you, to mourn with you, and to pray for you.
As I'm sure you've read, Matthew 5:4 says "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." The Message puts it beautifully, "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you."
That is such a tough exchange, I know. But the hope that is ours in Christ can be the comfort, because in Him, you will have that one more day. You will have an eternity of days.
There is a song that helped me in my time of loss... it's by Mercy Me, "Homesick."
"In Christ, there are no goodbyes.
And in Christ, there is no end.
So I'll hold onto Jesus, with all that I have. To see you again...
To see you again."
God bless you, and we'll be praying for you. <3
Hi Vee,
I'm just a stranger. I know what it's like to lose someone who makes your whole world make sense. I just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I will keep you and your sweet children in my prayers.
Someone said to me after my dad died that when God closes a door he opens a window, which really irritated me at the time. It was a lame thing to say. But I heard that saying again today and I thought about it, and the past year of grieving. And the funny thing is it kind of sums it up... Because windows aren't made for people to get in and out of houses, but if the door is closed, and there's no other way, we can get through it if we have to.
And that's what you'll do in the next while: Get through it, because you have to.
But it's so hard...
So God I pray that You will come alongside Vee and her children, and lift them in Your arms. Father please hold them close when they ache with pain, or shake with rage, or tremble in fear. I pray that You will comfort them, and give them peace. Help them to get through each day, and surround them with people who show them Your love.
Vee,
I don't know that I can say anything more then what has been said here already. Here I am another one who is sending you my love and thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how hard it is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are lucky to have your beautiful children. And lucky to have the blog and your children will be able to read about their dad.
Hugs to you
Jenn
Hey Vee,
I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. I lost someone close to me as well and I identify with you when you wrote that it was hard to smell the faint scent of his cologne and then it was forever washed away. It always seems like things won't go back to normal but soon you'll see yourself start to smile more and although things won't be the same, maybe the new normal will be bearable at the least. I wish you luck!
Love,
Hannah
Vee, I read part of your story earlier today and you and your little ones have been on my heart all day. No, I can't say I know your pain but I understand its intensity. As believers we know that things happen for a reason and yet we still struggle to understand. When I've been at a difficult juncture in my life, Jeremiah 29:11 helps pull me through. He knows your heart, He feels your pain but I'm certain he's crying for you as well. You are obviously an amazing woman and loved very much. What a blessing. I'm sorry I got to know about you under these circumstances but I have faith it was for a reason. You've touched many hearts Vee. I will continue to lift you and your family in prayer.
Dear Vee,
I almost cried when I read your post. Your faith in the Lord in this time is so admirable! Stay strong; those around you love you. I'll be praying for you.
*hugs* <3
~Mebediel
Vee, a big hug to you and know that I am praying for you and your beautiful family. Reading your blog I am simply amazed by your strength and love. May you continue to put one foot forward and not think too far into the future. God Bless.
Angie
xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo
Hi Vee,
Just wanted to send some love your way. Stay strong!
I know that words cannot possibly ease the pain you are feeling. This type of pain and loss consumes every fiber of your being - but that's ok. Take all the time you need to feel this pain, be angry, get upset, hurt inside and wonder why. Because one of these days, the pain will begin to subside and you will begin to answer your own questions. Life will mend itself and you will secure a safe place in your heart for your husband, where he will live forever. During this time of pain and recovery, just know that you have thousands of people praying for you and your family. We may be strangers in life, but we are friends in heart. I'm wishing nothing but the best for you and your beautiful kids. You are a strong and beautiful woman and I'm sure your husband is looking down upon you, smiling at your strength and courage. Sending you prayers, love, hugs and warm wishes!
Vee,
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how hard this must all be, but I am glad to know that you have a very supportive group of people, a whole community it seems, to help you & your beautiful children through this hard time.
I truly admire your strength,
Jen.
Dearest Vee,
I don't even know where to begin. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I admire your strength and your faith and your beautiful heart. Keep strong, for your children and for Jeremy.
I pray that you continue to find strength in God and that He gives you the peace you need in your heart to get through this.
Someone else wrote that it's not over. And I agree. It isn't. Jeremy will live in your heart, in your mind and in your children forever.
It's beautiful to read how so many people are there for you right now. Hold on to that. You are loved. You are truly loved. And even though you might feel like it, you are not alone.
I know this is just a note from a stranger and that I can't even begin to understand what you are going through, but you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Sending lots of love your way,
Stephanie.
My prayers are with you and your family. It's so wonderful to see you full of life and love, even in the face of adversity. Your children are lucky to have a mother like you, and no doubt, they are so proud.
While reading your story my heart breaks for your loss... and at the same time I am so incredibly inspired by the positivity that comes out through your words. Your faith, family and friends will help you to get through this and your beautiful children will be blessed to grow up in a home full of love and light. Please know that there are many people thinking of you and praying for you during this holiday season.
Vee, I am so sorry for your loss but I am also glad to hear that you have so many people supporting you. I hope that the 200-something comments on this blog post will also help you cope with this.
We're all here for you :) *hug*
I am so, so sorry for your loss. It gives me hope to learn that so many wonderful people are trying to help you out, but it can never be enough. May God bless you and your family, may He protect you from harm and let you feel His mighty and unwavering love.
Vee, when you spoke about doing the laundry, my heart just broke for you. I shed tears, and my chest ached. I know it'll never match the pain you feel, but just know that I'll be giving you prayers and hope, that I know you are beautiful, and that your husband, Jeremy is watching over you, your guardian angel. I'm only 17, having not fully lived yet, but your words spoke to my heart. I wish happiness for you and your family. Please wake up each day and look towards the sun. <3
~Tab.
I hope you do go to that spot and I hope you will be able to enjoy peace and comfort there.
Our prayers go out to you and your little family. When the time comes, I'm sure that your husband will be there to guide your new, sweet baby on his way to this world.
Love to you!
Bradie
Athens, GA
I am glad you have such a supportive family. And friends. I can not imagine what you are going through but I am sending you prayers and prayers for your little babies. They are lucky to have you as a mom.
Vee, I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. My heart breaks for you. I am so glad that you have a good friend, and family to help you through this incredibly difficult time.
Know that even though most of us don't know you we hold you in our hearts and are praying for you and your children.
Stay strong, and keep smiling.
I don't know you and have never been to your blog before today but please know that I am lifting your family up in prayer. May Peace fill your place and your heart this holiday.
God bless you --- it sounds like you've been through a lot. Keep strong for yourself and your children, and for your husband. I'm sure he's overjoyed to see you happy again. ♥
I can't begin to imagine how you feel, how your family feels. Only know that there is so much support out there for you, so many people sending you their love and strength.
So glad people are rallying around you and your family ~ It is when you are alone that it truly hurts and right now you 'numb' ~ it is a protection of a sort ~ Having been a young widow (23) with young son, it is the most crushing part of life and yet you will move on (your husband is watching over you and wants you to heal) and life will begin to flow ~ I am sending you distant healing Reiki energy and lots of hugs and love to you and your family ~ hugs and namaste,
Carol ~ http://artmusedog.blogspot.com
I found you on BlogFrog ~
You know, wanting your husband back isn't wrong or ungrateful. The people who are helping you don't expect that by doing so they can make up for losing him, and anyone in your situation would feel exactly the same way. Honestly, I think it shows tremendous strength of character that you are even able to appreciate the good things people are doing in your life after such a tragedy.
Just remember, although it doesn't feel like it right now, in time the pain will pass and, though you will never forget him, you will be able to accept this new phase in your life.
Sending you love from across the ocean.
Aphre. xx
I found a link to your blog and stopped by to say, "Hi."
You are so lucky to have such good friends to help you through this very difficult time in your life!
I just wanted to let you know - Don't ever feel bad about your posts being to your husband. I wrote letters to my daughter constantly - and that's actually what helped me get through it all.
Now that it's 10 years later for me, I can go back to those words that I wrote and realize what a long way I've come - as well as having sweet memories of my daughter along with it.
May the Lord watch over you, comfort you in your deepest moments. My thoughts & prayers and tears go out to you. Praying from Arizona
Words cannot even begin to express the sympathy I feel for you and your family! Reading your blog makes me realize how important it is to treasure every moment that we are given because we just don't know...
My heart goes out to you and your family as you deal with the loss of Jeremy. I don't know you, but know that my arms are giving you a virtual hug right now! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
And I can't leave without saying how much I admire your strength and bravery!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult things must be right now. But reading what you've written and feeling the love for your children jump off the page I have faith you'll keep going, one step at a time. I hope that someday you'll find peace and you can smile at the things that will inevitably remind you of Jeremy.
Vee,
It's so inspiring that your community is bringing you so much love and support right now. I know that it can't change what happened, but hopefully it will bring your family a smile here and there.
I think writing to Jeremy like you have been is a great way to get through to him and remember that he's still with you in spirit and listening.
My prayers are with you and your family, peanut included!
Vee,
I am so sincerely sorry to hear of your loss. Please take comfort in the tremendous love that surrounds you. Even though I do not personally know you or your family, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeremy will live on in your family's hearts and minds and will always be with you.
Time indeed will heal, but I know that probably doesn't seem possible right now. You will have the strength to get through this and Jeremy will always be with you to guide you.
I wish you and your family the very best.
Scott (Milwaukee, WI, USA)
Jeremy must have been an amazing man to have picked you Vee, to be his partner and share children with him. He knew then and I am sure he knows now that you are a strong woman and he trusts you to raise your children the way you both wanted. He will live on daily through you and your children. Life happens unexpectedly and sometimes it just sucks! But, we are given the ability to move on, how ever slowly is needed at first, and to heal. Let the love of your family, friend and strangers who care help you in this healing process. We all hurt for you and with you, as we make this journey of life together. Hugs and peace to you!
Vee,
Please know that there are many of us out here praying for you and your family during your time of loss. You are a very strong woman and, although this is difficult, you will find a way to heal and make the best of the times to come - especially with your children.
Sending lots of love and hugs for you and wishing nothing but the best for you and your kids this Christmas season and beyond.
i really don't know what to say. tears are running down my face with gratitude for what i have in my own life, and heartbreak for you and your family. thank you for sharing your journey. it's already helped more people than you know.
Oh Sweetie. My heart breaks for you and your family. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings, grieve, rage, cry, laugh, and heal. Everything in its own time.
xoxo
Carolynn
So glad you are being surrounded by love. May the love around you bring healing and peace.
Take care,
Helen
Dear Vee:
My heart cries for you and your precious children. I wish I could hug you. We will be praying.
Joanne xo
Calgary, AB Canada
Still praying, grieving, and thinking of you and your family's loss.
Rashell
Vee,
I only wish I could take away some of the pain and sadness you are feeling right now. I cannot imagine what you are going through, your post and the postcast brought me to tears.
Do not think for a moment that it is at all selfish to feel your suffering is unjustified despite all of the wonderful things that people have done for you. You are so lucky to have so many fantastic people to support you in your life but still they cannot replace what has been taken away from your life.
I admire how strong you and believe that with the help of friends, family, your children, Jeremy watching over you and God you will be able to get through this.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending love your way.
Rach xxx
Vee,
I only wish I could take away some of the pain and sadness you are feeling right now. I cannot imagine what you are going through, your post and the postcast brought me to tears.
Do not think for a moment that it is at all selfish to feel your suffering is unjustified despite all of the wonderful things that people have done for you. You are so lucky to have so many fantastic people to support you in your life but still they cannot replace what has been taken away from your life.
I admire how strong you and believe that with the help of friends, family, your children, Jeremy watching over you and God you will be able to get through this.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending love your way.
Rach xxx
Vee-
I don't know you, but thank you for reminding me to take nothing for granted. I've just read your story and seen the pictures on the left side of your blog of your beautiful family and I just started sobbing for you. I am so, so incredibly sorry about your loss. It's breaking my heart to read your story. But I'm grateful that you have the hope of Christ and know that there is a future in Heaven. This is not the end. There is hope despite the hurt. Please know that you are in my prayers. God bless.
Laura
My heart hurts for you and your sweet children! Praying for you! Love, Michelle
Dear Vee,
My whole heart is completely shattered after reading your posts about Mr.King. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the kind of sorrow that is raging through your heart right now. I want you to know that you are one of the bravest people I know. God has made changes in your life that no one should have to deal with, least of all someone as amazing as you. I would not survive walking down the path that you are on now. I just wanted you to know that your amazing husband is living in your heart, and in the smiles, laughter and hearts of your children. I am going to pray for you and your children, for God to send you an angel to be there to take your pain. I have never had the honor of meeting you, but please know that there are people out there pulling for you. All the love in the world, Kelsey
Dear, sweet girl... my prayers are with you. All I can give you is this quote from one of my favorite books, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran...
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
I pray that God can help bring you peace during this time. I've lost loved ones before, but I cannot even pretend to know what you are experiencing. My hope for you is that you may use this accident to benefit others by helping someone when they experience the same thing.
God does not give us anything we cannot handle. It is at this point that I think of the poem "footprints in the sand"
'One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,"You promised me Lord,that if I followed you,you would walk with me always.But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints,is when I carried you."
Let the Lord carry you during your hardest times. Easier said than done, I know, but I pray that you keep it in mind.
Your husband is smiling on you from Heaven. He is watching over you and your children. I am sure that he would want nothing more than for you to enjoy the gifts that you have been so blessed with. I am sure you wish that he was here to experience them with you, but please don't let that thought take any joy from what you are receiving.
You truly are remarkable :) Love to you, your family and friends.
He will always be with you :)
Much Love
X
Vee I'm so sorry to hear about the pain you're going through. I keep trying to think of something that will make it better, and I know nothing will. I have never been married, but I do know a bit about loss and missing people who aren't coming back. I guess the best I can do is to remind you that you have more than just echoes, more than just a hunting stand, more than just a smell on a shirt. Your husband's spirit is still with you, and While I'm sure he would love to be able to stand beside you physically, I also believe he is still glad that his family is being blessed and provided for. I am praying for you, and your kids, and I know I'm not the only one.
God Bless.
-Anna
Vee,
I just heard of your story today as I first learned of the "Love Bomb". It seems as though you are being showered with all types of love already, but there is no such thing as too much love in a time of such sadness.
I lost both my father and mother too young. When my mother was dying I felt lost and hopeless for the first time ever in my life. I remember crying, asking out loud, "What am I supposed to do?" and then, on my shower radio I heard a song I never heard before. Here are some of the lyrics:
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me
When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
Move along
The song, you may find familiar now, was brand new then "Move Along" by the All American Rejects. I felt like my father had sent that message straight to me in answer to my plea.
When my mother passed and I found out her life insurance was twice what I understood it to be, I too, had the bittersweet feeling you did. In the months that followed so many doors seemed to suddenly open, life seemed to turn brighter and I was furious that my mother couldn't share in the joy with me.
And then it occurred to me. I have two VERY special angels working overtime for me in my life! Perhaps these wonderful things are made possible because of those who watch over us.
Jeremy, I think, IS experiencing all of this joy with you and your children - I think he is the whisper in each person's ear as they decide today I am going to give some love, friendship, joy to Vee and her kids. He's a king, right? I imagine he is using that title to its fullest extent wherever he is now to ensure that his queen is adequately taken care of!
Feel the love Vee I am sending it full force from New York! I'll ask my angels to keep an eye on your babies. :)
Vee,
I just heard of your story today through "Love Bomb". It seems as though you are being showered with all types of love already, but there is no such thing as too much love in a time of such sadness.
I lost my father and mother too young. When my mother was dying I felt hopeless for the first time ever in my life. I remember crying, asking out loud, "What am I supposed to do?" and then, on my radio I heard a song I never heard before:
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me
When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
Move along
The song,"Move Along" by the All American Rejects, was brand new then. I felt like my dad had sent that message straight to me in answer to my plea.
When my mom passed and I found out her life insurance was twice what I understood it to be, I too, had the bittersweet feeling you did. In the months that followed so many doors seemed to open, life seemed to turn brighter and I was furious that my mother couldn't share in the joy with me.
And then it occurred to me. I have two VERY special angels working overtime for me in my life! Perhaps these wonderful things are made possible because of those who watch over us.
Jeremy, I think, IS experiencing all of this joy with you and your children - I think he is the whisper in each person's ear as they decide: today I am going to give some love, friendship, joy to Vee and her kids.
He's a king, right? Don't you think he is still using all his power for the sake of his family?!
Sending love from NY and I'll be asking my angels to keep an eye on all of your babies!
Lauren,
I am so sorry to hear of your family's tragedy. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and my prayers. I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort during this time.
God Bless Your Family,
Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com
Vee, this is all so horrible. You're such a strong woman, with a great community and church family to help you through all the trifling troubles. I send my love and support.
-FreddieLynne <3
Vee:
I am so sorry for your loss. I know God will provide for you in ways you never imagined. May you be encouraged that I am praying for your strength and comfort.
Jeff
Vee,
I won't even try to pretend that I know what you're going through. I don't. But I'm sorry to hear you have had to go through this. And that your family has too. There's not much I can say to be helpful, but I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and your family. You sound like a wonderful lady, and from the pictures on your blog I can tell you and your children have beautiful smiles. I hope your have many reasons to smile this holiday season despite all of the pain.
Dear Vee
I'm sending prayers and good wishes to you from Oman. I am inspired by your bravery and the positive way you look at things although I know it must be so difficult. Your love for your family is what will get you through for that love is eternal, even if we are not.
Take care and keep hugging those babies who keep the memory of Jeremy alive for you everyday.
Namaste
Sending you hugs, prayers and light to help you through this. May you find strength in the love from people that surround you.
xx, shell
Vee, I just learned of your blog and wanted you to know that I've added your name to my prayer list. I know that Jeremy is rejoicing with you at the positive things that are happening. I'm sure you realize that finding his shirt in the laundry was no accident, that Jeremy was speaking to you through that shirt, reminding you of how much he still loves you. May the shalom of God be with you and all those you love.
don't ever apologize for missing your husband and wishing you had him instead of all the love and support you're receiving. it's normal. i'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch in your life but you'll pull out of it stronger than ever and definitely a woman your children will look up to ...
i'm sending you lots of love and hugs ...
Dear Dee,
I am thinking of you and sending my love to you and your sweet family. May you be given the strength you need for this journey. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. I promise you there is. Angels are watching over you, dear lady.
Norma in CA
I am so sorry for your loss. A dear friend of ours died in September. At some point, you might want to listen to a video of him doing praise and worship where he talked about handling death. It is so powerful and encouraging - especially for the ones he left behind (us, but a wife and new baby girl). I hope it blesses you!
http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/pass-it-forward/
Oh my goodness. You're story has touched me so much. You are an INCREDIBLY strong and amazing woman. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I want you to know that right at this very moment I am praying for your and your children's broken hearts.
God Bless You!!!
Wow....I cannot imagine having to go through a trial like this, but just remember that God is in control and that He knows what He is doing, keep your faith strong, he'll pull you through. It will be so hard, but keep your head up, and face each day with a hope that inspires.
Wow, you are the most incredibly brave woman I have had the pleasure to "meet". And, I know it is not by your choice.
When my dad died, I felt him stay with me for months. I felt him, I felt God and I felt the angels that He sent to be with me. In fact, God sent his angels a full month before my dad's death. I was confused and afraid at the time and now realize what a gift I had been given. I'm sure that they are with you too.
I know that you will find your happiness again and I hope that you will embrace it without sadness or guilt. Wishing you many blessings.
You deserve happiness, you're such a strong person and your children are so lucky to have you as their mum.
I feel for you're loss. I have seen many a DEAR and SWEET friend pass away and it is unmistakeably hurtful. God is in control, but sometimes it feels like everything around is is just screwed up and we are hurting, deeply, within. I, personally, want you to know that there are other out here thinking about you. you are loved.
-Zack
Hi Vee!
I sat here with tears streaming down my face reading and listening to your story. My heart aches for you and your family.
You are such a BEAUTIFUL, wonderful, strong person, and I admire you for everything you are doing for your children.
God has a plan for everything. God has blessed you richly in family, friends, love, and support... and he will always be by your side to help you through this.
And, better yet, Jeremy is there too. Even if you can't see him.
My prayers go out to your and your family!
In Christian Love,
-Jesslyn
My heart aches for you! I am going through some very painful situations with my husband right now and his choices in life... through your loss I am reminded that even through all of this ugliness, he is still here. How horrible it would be to lose it all. I am SO sorry about your situation. I cannot even imagine what you are feeling right now. I will offer some of my suffering up for your family.
Wow Vee, I'm blown away (as you likely are too) but all the amazing comments of love and support. You are so loved.
You know we're lifting you and the little ones up to God everyday! Bless your broken heart sweetie!
My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry.
Im so sorry you're going through this right now. I cannot imagine how you feel. Surround yourself with Love, Family and Friends. The will of God will not take you where the Grace of God cannot protect you. My prayers are with you.
Vee, sending hugs and prayers to you and your family from Saipan....I came across your blog from a friends blog.
Vee, I'm reading all of these comments and I can feel the love coming to you and your family. It's amazing. However, it is not wrong of you to wish you had Jer instead. Who wouldn't? You are perfectly normal.
I only knew Jer through following your blog the past few years but somehow I KNOW he can take the pain and the anger. He was strong, his love for you is stronger. He can take it. Keep writing.
And there is no need to do the laundry. Keep him around through his scent. It's okay.
Love and prayers are coming your way daily.
Dear Vee,
Keep writing.
Keep going.
You are helping your children and your friends and your community by simply showing up and sharing.
With love and admiration,
Elizabeth Hurwitz
Ann Arbor, MI
You are strong, and beautiful. Never let that slip your mind. :)
YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN AND I AM SENDING ALL MY STRENGTH AND POWER AND LOVE TO YOU. I know some moments may be unbearable, but I hope you can wrap yourself in the loving blanket of your kids and friends and family and move forward, inch by precarious inch. Thinking of you. You are an inspiration to many.
Love,
Carol
Love and hugs to you and your family. Praying for you.
I have come back to your blog several times today, my heart hurts for you. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will be ok, us moms figure it all out somehow....you'll have an angel by your side and tons of people praying for you.....hope you are finding some peace, I can't imagine the holidays and how hard it all is, know that you reminded this ole' girl not to take one single day for granted....God Bless!
Dear Vee
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. May God give you'll strength and peace.
Uzma
Vee. I'm so awestruck that you can see blessings in your life at this difficult time! It says a lot about what kind of strong and positive woman you are, and a testament to why Jeremy loved you. All the best to you, your family, and your beautiful children. {{{hugs}}}
Vee,
Praying for you and your family, and for Jeremy in heaven, this christmas. May God bless you and hold you.
Anyone you have truly loved and has truly loved you is always with you.
x x Heidi
I can't imagine. I simply cannot. And I am just so terribly sorry. I lack the words to tell you how my heart breaks on your behalf.
I'm glad you are surrounded by people who love you.
“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us.”
Know that we love you and care about you, my dear. Praying for strength and for a healthy community around you during these days...
The day before Thanksgiving, my uncle fell from 25 ft from a tree stand. He had many shattered bones, but luckily he did survive. I am praying for you and your family. I wish I could give you a great big hug. (((hugs)))
Lots of positive thoughts heading your way :) xox I hope you can find the love and peace in the situation that you are in, and can remember the wonderful times with Jeremy - and I hope that the good times are now helping you through the bad. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all xoxox my thoughts are with you.
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