2.05.2011

I finally did it...



...I finally updated my blog.

For the last almost 3 months (actually, 88 days, if anyone else is counting), I've been staring at the side bars on my blog page reading and re-reading the little snippets of my family. Especially the snippet about Jeremy. I knew I would eventually have to change it, but the thought of it made me ill - I wasn't ready to admit that my love was really gone and that my perfect little family had fallen apart. And changing things made me feel like I was moving on.

Let's be clear, I'm not ready to move on.

But what I did come to realize is that over the last 88 days, I've gained almost 300 new followers. And I know so many people come to this space to find out what happened and offer their support. When I started seeking out other 'widow blogs,' the very first thing I looked for was information about the widow and her family, how her husband died, and their story. So, I thought it only fair that since most people are here because of my story, I'd make it easy for people to find out. Click on the tabs above to read my story and meet my family.

On top of that, people have been supporting me with the help of some friend's blogs, who were donating their ad revenues to my family from the month of January. (to see how much money was raised from Pennies on a Platter, click here - and thank you from the bottom of my heart).

Now, you can continue to support me and my family by visiting MY blog, which is now making a very small profit from ad revenues (every little bit counts, right?) Jeremy always told me I should look into making money from my blog, but I never seriously considered it because it was just a silly little blog about our family - who would read that? But he's making it happen, because they approached me...so I thought it was time to give it a new feel and a new focus: Learning to live without him.

It was hard to finally change everything, but it was needed. And knowing Jer is still front and center in our family and now in the overtones of my blog, it feels good to see his presence here. It goes along with the theme of my life right now and feels a little more relevant.

Thank you for following this journey of mine. Right now the road is very dark and bumpy, but it's good to know I have a place to write it all out, and that I'm not walking it alone.

37 comments:

Anyes said...

Thinking of you constantly and praying for all of you. Sending you energy and love :-)

Jennifer said...

I always knew your writing would reach out to others. I encourage you in your writing...for your sake mostly, for your and Jeremy's children...they will have a record of their family that other's certainly won't...and for those learning how to take the next breath...

You're a powerful and gifted woman...
Jennifer

Jackie said...

You poor, sweet thing. I admire your honesty and bravery as you navigate through this journey no one should have to face. Still praying for you....

*Nikki* said...

As I sit here reading your blog posts...I cry. I cry for you and your children...I cry so hard my gut hurts and my heart physically aches for you. I wonder if I could go through something like that...I wonder if I could be as strong as you. My husband hunts too..and I can't tell you how many times he has HAD to go hunting and when he leaves I am so ticked off because I really needed to go grocery shopping instead of him playing in the woods..You have given me a new lease on my marriage..Thank you so much. I am praying for you and your babies...and I know that God has to have something MAJOR planned for you all..and I can't wait to read about it in your blog!!
God Bless You..and Stay Strong!

sherene said...

Oh Vee, you are so brave and I'm so proud of you. My Father in Law left us suddenly ( he was murdered) and it was the most painful feeling. Of course FIL and husband are so much different, but the feeling of loss is the same intense. I will continue to pray for you and ur little angels. Hang in there.

shebiann said...

Veronica, you have done a beautiful job with this. I would give anything to have Jeremy back for you, the kids, and everyone who loved him so much. I appreciate the way you honor him and that you pour yourself out so much. I think it helps everyone in the community to grieve also. I know it helps me.

Debi

Andrea said...

Dear Vee, I started following your blog after learning of Jeremy's tragic death through my daughter who is friends with Sarah R. I have been praying for you and your beautiful children ever since. Your journal has touched my heart.

Allyson & Jere said...

It looks fabulous Vee. I really like what you've done. And I'm so happy for you that you're able to make a little money on the blog now. You do deserve all good things that come your way.

John and Anne said...

I am so proud to call you my friend. You words touch so many of us in so many ways. I miss you and wish I were closer but know that we are always thinking of you!

Melanie said...

Beautiful format! I am so impressed with your ability keep blogging through this. Thank you for your transparency and honesty. It's what we all need! Blessings to you and yours.

Nicole said...

Beautiful!

Lucy said...

Just wanted to let you know that a "Love Bomber" is still checking in, still keeping you and your children in prayers, still impressed by your strength, and your honesty in weakness.

Katrina Liby said...

I started following your blog after learning of your story by your friend Jessica Travis. Your blogs bring me to tears and make me learn to appreciate everything even more than I did before as you never know what life may bring. Thanks for being so honest with your raw emotions and know MANY people are thinking of you and praying for your family. I love what you have done with the blog makeover and know that you are an inspiration to me. Stay strong as you are doing a wonderful job with everything!

Nancy P said...

Day 105 for me. People tell me to stop counting. I can't. I'm sure we will stop when it's time for us to stop.
Once again I am grateful for you - you articulate what I feel but can't say.

Anonymous said...

Veronica,

I have been praying for you since you lost your precious husband. I have been asking everyone to pray for your family, especially for the day of your little one's birth. May you feel God's presence and know that he cares about every tear that you shed. You are important to Jesus and loved by many who don't even have the pleasure of knowing you personally.
Love in Him,
JoAnn

Amanda said...

Love it, Vee! Keep writing!

Maya'lee said...

Hey Vee! Just wanted to let you know that I awarded you on my blog:)

Check out my blog to get your awards!!

Have a great day,

Maya'lee xxx

"Say What?" said...

Love your quote at the top: "It wasn't long enough together, but it was long enough to last forever."

Thinking of you and praying with you.

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

I think the new look is great! How amazing how much the Pennies for Platters earned-wow!!! Hugs & prayers for you and your fam, good luck with Carter this coming week.

Meg said...

I think the new look is beautiful. And I think no matter what changes you make externally, the love that you and Jer had shines through you.

Still praying, Meg

Sarah Hannon said...

Vee,
It looks awesome!
Jer will never be forgotten!
I pray for you and your family daily.
I'll be praying on tuesday for you too. Can't wait to see pictures of Carter!
xoxo Sarah

Monica said...

Looks great Vee ;)

Hope you are getting excited for next weeks new addition!!!

Praying for you and your family hun.

Love always,
Monica

Anonymous said...

absolutely BEAUTIFUL.

I wondered if you would change the blog, and identified w/ the fact that it would be difficult to do so. Not sure if I would have been able to if I were in your shoes.

I have always taken pride in the fact that I don't take minutes or days for granted... I always say "I love you" to my husband, and recognize that tomorrow is not guaranteed on this earth. Your story has reminded me just how important it is to make all the moments matter. Stupid stuff like sitting in subway eating lunch, and talking about nothing. All of the moments matter, no matter how insignificant.

You are a great blessing to all, and your story should remind all of us to love more fiercely every single day.

I have a strong belief that you will be support and a voice for many who are going through the loss you're going through. You have a gift of writing, and heart of gold. You will help others, and I think you are already influencing people to live better, love more, and appreciate everything they have.

You have great purpose in this life, and it goes way beyond being a mom!

The world is a better place because you're in it... Stay strong, and know that Jeremy is proud of everything you do.

Love and prayers from Ontario, Canada.

Christine said...

I love the new look! The green is pretty and your photos are adorable. Good luck with your baby's birth (this week, right?)

bamboo said...

The new layout is beautiful.

Corinne Cooper said...

Vee, I have visited your blog several times before, but never commented. Your writing is beautiful & tugs at my heart strings. I too am pregnant with my 2nd daughter & will be having a c-section on Feb. 22nd. The thought of going into that operating room without my husband (& reading about your feelings on the matter) made me so very sad. My heart aches for you. My husband also has a heart condition & loosing him scares me everyday. Luckily we know about it though & he gets the care he needs, so for that I am thankful. I will be thinking & praying for you & Carter on Tues. Feb 8th.

-Corinne Coooper

P.S. I too have gestational hypertension :)

Shannon said...

I like your new layout. Just wanted to let you know that I continue to pray for you and your children daily. I'll be sending up extra prayers for you next week with the birth of Carter.

tiffany said...

You're doing great Vee. One breath at a time.

Christine said...

The new layout is lovely. Very thoughtfully chosen.

Missy said...

You are right, you are not alone. I think of you often and keep you in my prayers.

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie said...

Sorry - I was trying to delete the duplicate message and they BOTH deleted.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son Carter.

I hope you felt Jer and God's love today, in extra super duper HUGE heaps of love.

Anonymous said...

I am a teacher from Canada, and I came across your blog on a "teacher site". Ever since I've read your story I have been following along and praying for you and your children. Your story really "hit home" and it has taught me to never take a day for granted. May you find strength in your children and your new baby. I think you are an amazing, stong woman.

Karen Peterson said...

I know these changes were hard. It's just another step in the process.

Thinking of and praying for you daily!

Desi said...

Love the new look of your blog. And I love all 3 pics displayed at the top in your header. And I'm so glad to hear how much money was raised for your family from Pennies on a Platter. I stopped by there often to help out, since it was the only way I knew I could help you! You and your children deserve it. You sound like you are doing good, considering the circumstances. Stay strong, stay strong. You are an inspiration.

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