"Read, Daddy"

Jeremy in the sailor suit, and his other mini-me, Carter bearing the same sweet features.

Now the school is in full swing and we've kinda (and I use that term loosely) got a routine going, I've been able to spend a lot of one-on-one time with my man cub. I haven't had just one child with me in over 5 years! It's been nice to just play with him, talk to him, and watch him grow. His life thus far seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye and I know I was checked out for the first part of it. I feel like I've missed a lot.

Spending more time with him has made me face a lot of grief associated with his life, though. Watching him learn new things and knowing that Jeremy will never get to see him grow. The ache that comes with the understanding that Jeremy never got to hold his son. Thinking about the day he was born never ceases to make me emotional. Sometimes I think that day was harder in some ways than the day Jeremy died. We talk about 'daddy' all the time - he associates my necklace with Jer, the pics of him around the house, the tattoo on my arm, even the Toronto Maple Leafs logo he recognizes with his daddy. It's so incredibly bittersweet.

Last week, I sat down and showed Carter the video I have of Jeremy reading "Barnyard Dance" to Faith and Caleb. He was mesmerized. And I was full of tears and smiles. We went about our day and week until the other day, Carter was pointing to the table throwing a fit because I couldn't understand what he was wanting. When I finally figured out that he was pointing to my computer and saying "read Daddy, read Daddy" I burst into tears. 

He remembered.

Not only did he remember, he wanted more. More of his daddy. He wanted more of this presence he hears referred to all the time but hasn't met him or touched him yet. To hear his voice, see his face, and see him snuggle up against his big brother and sister made an impact on that little 19-month-old heart. He watched it again and again. 

For all the times I worry that Carter may not understand or I might share enough....I realize that Jeremy really is a presence in our hearts and in our lives. And he's in the heart and life of a little man cub who's never met him face to face, but who lives out his legacy as the spitting image of his daddy. 

zed

What an honor it is to have been your wife.

Last night was the tribute concert for you at Great Lakes. It was a great turn out and it always means sooo much to me to see how many lives you've affected and how many people still care. All the guys did a great job singing, my heart was broken and filled at the same time. 


I've been doing ok, for the most part. The anxiety about these next couple weeks comes and goes, but yesterday you were everywhere. I laughed when I crossed into Canada without any issues whatsoever and the second I rolled up my window I heard you clear as day say "I love my country." And I giggled - I always agreed with you at the border.


Once we got to your sisters and the kids were playing with some toys, they were listening to one particular toy sing the ABC's....all the way to "zed" - and Faith, looking confused says "what is zed?!" You would have said that it's what the letter Z is actually called, but I told her it was something crazy Canadians say. And the next morning, Faith was very curious as to whether or not you learned the alphabet with 'zed' when you were a kid....and they were just cracking up. It just really made me miss our silly banter and all the weird things you do in Canada :)


We took a walk around the mall yesterday, the same mall with the jewelry store where you bought my engagement ring. I told the kids about it, they love hearing stories about the different places you used to be....and that's one of my favorites. 


So many of my memories live here in this place, therefore, pieces of my heart are all over this town. I realized that it's not just your past anymore or the place where you lived and made memories. It's mine now too. It will always be a part of who I am and a part of my past, and hopefully always a part of my future and the future of our children. 

It goes without saying, but I miss you. Terribly.
I love you always and forever.

you should be here

Today was an absolutely beautiful weather day. The perfect fall day to go to the Cider Mill. Any other time, I would be jumping up and down, literally begging you to take me, but this year I did it out of obligation to carry on our tradition and cause I promised the kids I would take them. Oh yea, and I had a coupon for a dozen free donuts.

As soon as we got there, I went instantly back to every year we've gone, looking at the bench we sat at to eat our donuts last year, the spot the kids sat to take their picture two years ago, the stairs where I took a grumpy picture of Faith cause she didn't want to have her photo taken when she was 2. This was literally right at the top of my list of favorite family things to do and I felt you missing today so much stronger than before. You should be here picking out fudge with the kids, petting the goats and chasing Caleb down the trail and walking the kids along the river. You should be here making yummy noises while eating the fresh donuts and complaining about the ridiculous price of a tiny cider slush that you are required to get for me. You should be here pushing the stroller, letting Carter taste donuts for the first time (which he LOVED by the way - no shocker there, he's your kid) and tickling him and smothering him with kisses. 

You should be here.

The kids remembered too. When we turned the corner to get in line to buy donuts, Faith and Caleb said 'remember when Daddy took us to the Cider Mill when I was 3? Remember when Daddy said the goats were really stinky? Remember when we got to watch the donuts being made with Daddy?' I pray every single day that their memories of you never fade.

I miss you baby, in a way I can't put to words. You should be here, damn it.

I love you with all that I am.

deja vu

I had the oddest moment of deja vu today...


Your littlest man started clapping today. It's the cutest thing and you can tell he's very proud that he's figured it out. I was sitting on the floor practicing with him while we were both giggling, and I thought to myself 'We need to get it down just right so we can show daddy when he gets home.'


BAM. No wait, that's not right. Why did I think that? I suddenly remembered Faith being almost that exact age, staying at your grandmother's house while you out hunting for the weekend with the guys and she learned how to clap. I got so excited and we practiced all weekend so we could show you when you got back. I may have forgotten that memory had I not re-lived it today with Carter. But I remember the look of pride on your face when you came home and she did it on command for you. Maybe you were showing me that same pride for our little guy.


I haven't had a lapse like that in awhile, one where I actually believe you're not gone. I almost forgot the devastation of realizing I had done that. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a moment with you again.


I also felt that same smile of pride from you today when I finally finished the outside of the house today. Got everything painted, and with the exception of one window that I was too scared to get up on the ladder to do, I hung the shutters. I was pretty proud of myself. I know I'm capable of doing these things, I just really hate when I HAVE to.

BEFORE

 AFTER

What a difference it makes. It feels so fresh and clean and I love it. It's silly that these little things are sometimes what makes me miss you most - I wish you could see it and appreciate it with me.

Your princess is now a ballerina, she started her ballet/jazz class today. I wasn't sure if ballet would be engaging enough for that little ball of energy, but she insisted. I wish you could have seen her dancing today, I could have cried watching her today. The silly grin on her face as she practiced coordinated moves in the mirror was just priceless. I think she is going to love it.

I miss you baby. I hate that you're missing out on our every day mundane-ness.

I love you with all that I am.

my greatest ministry

My Facebook status last year on this day said: "Sometimes I forget that motherhood is my greatest ministry." It just jumped at me today, and has been swirling in my head since.


Your little man started soccer today. I had no idea he was so tall - he was the biggest kid in the entire place and I chuckled to myself about what a bruiser he is. All morning he kept telling me "I already know how to play soccer, my daddy teached-ed me before he got dead." All I could do was pray that he didn't say that to his coach. He managed fine, and I think he'll enjoy it. It made me feel good to know that I have him involved in sports, just doing something that boys should do - I feel like you'd love it too.


As I reflect on motherhood as my ministry, I find that I have really drifted away from my purpose. Lately, the kids have been really testing me. I don't know if it's because it's been mostly me with them lately and school is starting, or cause we've been home a lot more now and a new schedule is evolving, but we're all butting heads with each other. Faith is so sassy sometimes, Caleb's whining makes me want to shut my head in a car door...even Carter hasn't been sleeping well. I can't remember the last time they did something I asked them the first time I asked. I feel like I yell too much, and spend so much of my days being a referee between Faith and Caleb because they fight constantly. I find myself sitting on the couch at the end of a day full of running around, getting kids dressed, making lunches, cleaning up after kids, bathing dirty kids, and putting kids to bed feeling sorry for myself. Is this what life is all about? Is this it now? This imagery never bothered me or scared me before, but without you here by my side some days the weight is too heavy and I can't remember why I am doing this in the first place. I need you here to bounce this stuff off of, to balance me out, to take over when I'm stressed, to let me know when I've crossed the line, to discuss discipline and how we're going to raise these kids...


There are those moments, though, that make it all worth it...


Like when Faith gets off the bus, and she grabs Caleb's hand as we walk back home. "I missed you while you were at school Faith. I always miss you." Caleb says.
"I missed you too, brother."
Or like when I'm doing something completely ridiculous and ordinary to make Carter laugh hysterically and the sound seeps down into the darkest and coldest parts of my heart and warms them up.
Or like when I lay down for a nap with Caleb, and he always asks "Mommy, can we talk about things? Like Daddy and Uncle Brian and Heaven?" 
Or when I wake up to Carter changed, dressed, and fed in his room because Faith wanted to help me out and let me rest.


My greatest ministry. Maybe this is all there is going to be for me, and I need that to be ok. I want to find contentment is just being a mother. A minister of parenthood. haha, I like the sound of that, though it's a terrible title, it alludes to me knowing what I am doing. And I have no clue what I'm doing. I just know they're all I have left of you, and I want to make you proud. I want to screw them up in our specific ways, they ways we decided on before and the ways I hear in my heart from you. And I know as long as I keep my compass on God, that's all I can really do.


I miss you baby. I wish things didn't have to be so complicated without you. Nothing is easier without you here.
I love you with all that I am.

6 months old

Can you believe Carter is 6 months old?!? I find it strange that his birth seems like an eternity ago and yet your death still feels very fresh. Either way, the kid is growing like a weed and is as handsome as ever. He's sleeping so well and eating constantly. You would crack up at the faces he makes when he watches other people eat, like when your Uncle Doug teased Caleb with that dessert and we couldn't stop laughing. Yeah, it's hilarious. And when he has something to say, he says it very loud and proud. He loves the jumper and I'm so glad ours has lasted us through three kids. He loves to grab my face and smother me with kisses, it might be the sweetest thing ever. I continually picture what it would be like to see you playing with him - what you would say, how he would react. I know you would be great buddies. He loves being thrown in the air. I never did it much with our kids, cause you always did so now I do it for you.


We spent some time with Sarah taking 6 month shots of Carter and taking some family shots too. I know they'll be beautiful. I couldn't get over how much Caleb looks like you. The older he gets, the more it shocks me. I love seeing you in him though. I took Faith to get a haircut in the morning - I think you'd hate it, they cut it way too short and the woman didn't layer it right, even after I came back and asked her to fix it. Luckily, she's beautiful and it's just hair and will hopefully grow quickly. Didn't phase her from taking gorgeous pictures. Love that little lady.


So many days I wanna give up. The kids fight and drive me crazy, I can't figure out how to keep Caleb from poking Carter in the face, squeezing his cheeks, screaming at him to get a reaction. Faith can be sassy enough for a 15 year old and good Lord, am I nervous about her being a 15 year old! I get so overwhelmed some mornings laying in bed and listening the sounds that start my day: a crying baby ready to eat, two kids fighting over the remote and smacking each other until one finally runs up to tattle tell. And me running low on fuel cause I never get enough sleep. I specifically remember sitting in the stall of a Target restroom with three children fighting over who was gonna pee first while I was nursing Carter on the floor and thinking 'How on earth did this become my life?!" 


But then I remember how sweet they really are, and how lucky am I am to have pretty great kids. And they're exactly that - kids. And even though they drive me crazy, they also love like crazy. They keep me close to you. They remind me that I still have a purpose.


Even though family pictures seem so empty without you in them, it still makes me smile to capture me being surrounded by my three greatest blessings.


I wish there was a better way to describe how much I miss you.
I love you always and forever.







-from "Blessing for Mothers" - the last gift I received from my brother before he died

DAY 4: A Time to Laugh

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - VICTOR BORGE

Is there distance between you and your children? Has life become too serious? If so grab a book of corny jokes or rent a video of Christian comedians and let loose with some laughter. It's time to laugh.

Toddler Translator - 3rd Edition

My kids are known for their hilarious stories and ridiculous pronunciations. They're my favorite. So, if you're ever around my children and wonder what they're talking about, let me break it down for you:

"Infective" - Infected
     Faith told me if I chewed my nails, my fingers would get 'infective'!

"Expendo" - Extendo
     Not that either are words, but Caleb asked me if I had 'Expendo' arms to reach the steering wheel when I drive! LOL

"Rainvo" - Rainbow
"Festible" - Festival
"Carnible" - Carnival
"Octover" - October
"Cuvy" - Cubby
      It seems we have issue swapping our b's and v's...

"Bapsized" - Baptized
"Banilla" - Vanilla
     Caleb always asks for a 'Banilla Bar' for snack.

"Mushstash" - Mustache
     I can't make fun of my kids too much for this one, cause I do it once in awhile too! LOL

"Formia" - Formula
"Cups of Cheeno" - Cappuccino
     Faith has a baby My Little Pony who drinks pretend 'Cups of Cheeno' out of her bottle because she's allergic to baby 'formia'!

"Brathe" - Brave
     Faith watched me get my finger poked for an hemoglobin test with a very concerned look on her face (she is severely afraid of needles). When I told her not to worry, she asked "Are you brathe mommy?"

I never correct them when they mispronounce these things, and I usually repeat it back exactly the way they say it to me (it usually corrects itself over time, and it's just too much fun!). I wonder at what age these mispronunciations stop being cute and start becoming worrisome...

Kids say the darndest things...

I thought it was time to do another rendition of 'Kids Say the Darndest Things' - especially mine. I haven't been good about writing them down lately, because our schedules have been chaos, but all their recent episodes keep running fresh in my mind. Brace yourselves...

1. My kids are on 'healthy vs. junky' kick with food. Ever since we did a nutrition unit at preschool, the kids constantly ask me if things are healthy or junky. I'm thankful for their curiosity in this subject, but it doesn't always mean they eat healthier (although Faith did yell at me once after ordering McDonalds that she would never eat it again cause it's too junky. She still ate her meal.) Anyway, the most frustrating thing is that my kids argue back and forth on random food items. We were walking through the grocery store, and they were naming things as they passed. "That's healthy, this is junky" etc. Then, being the hilarious and oh-so-clever 3 and 4 year olds that they are, started saying things like "You're junky. No, grandma's healthy." and so on. Finally, Caleb got fed up and shouted in the middle of the grocery store, "Faith is healthy. Mommy's healthy. Daddy's healthy. And I'M A WOMAN!"

I'm not sure where any of that fits into the healthy vs. junky story, but I stopped the cart to burst out laughing and beg him not to shout that so loud in a public place while explaining to him that he is in fact, NOT a woman.

My thought exactly.

2. Speaking of saying ridiculous things in public places, the next one is worse: I took the kids to the bathroom at a restaurant after eating lunch. As we're opening the door, Caleb asks, "Mommy, is this the girl's bathroom or the boy's bathroom?" When I told him it was the girl's bathroom, he stops. "If this is the girl's bathroom, then why is there a boy in here?" I look up to see a not-so-feminine looking woman washing her hands at the sink! I'm thinking, "Okay, just keep walking and pretend like you didn't hear it." But no. Caleb asks again. Finally in the stall, red from the neck up, I said as loud as I could without being obvious, "Caleb you're in here because you have to come with Mommy to the girl's bathroom." Phew! Conflict diverted, right? I hope so.

3. My kids recently got vaccinated for school. So Faith is very concerned about going to the doctor. We made an appointment for Caleb to see an allergist next week, because we think he may be allergic to mosquito bites and worse, bees. Caleb is fine talking about it so I was telling him that we're going to see a special doctor to check to see if he's allergic to anything. Faith was freaking out saying she'll just stay home with Daddy while we go, or asking over and over if Caleb was going to get shots. When I reassured her that she was not going to have to see the doctor this time, she announced, "Good. Cause I'm not allergic to anything. Except Giraffes. I love Giraffes." She also told me I might be allergic to them if I really liked them.

What? Crazy girl.

(Driving to VBS for Crazy hair day)

4. I always seem to have one inappropriate potty humor joke. Welcome to my family. Yesterday, when Caleb was in the bathroom, I went in to go help him and he proudly announced, "Mommy, I pooped. Wanna smell it?"

No thanks, I'm good.

I'm sure the hubs would be proud.

And the winner for 'Kids Say the Most Precious Things' this week is Faith:

"Mommy, if you say God when you're not supposed to, you need to say sorry to your heart."

How can you argue with something so precious? Especially when she's right.

Love my precious, crazy, loving, ridiculously neurotic kids!

Unexpected Emotion

As you all know, I am frantically running around this week trying to work on my Spring Break TO DO list! I'm happy to announce that I've put a pretty big dent in the list - it feels so good to be getting organized! I've also done a few things that were not on the list!

However, something happened that I didn't expect when I was sorting through all my kids clothes for a Mom2Mom Sale...

I used to be pretty good about going through the kids clothes on a regular basis, and sorting them. Well, they each have their own bin of clothes I wanted to keep (ya know, in case I have another one!) Except, I opened the bins and thought 'Why do I really need to keep all this? It's just taking up space and is going to just sit here...might as well let someone else enjoy it.' So first I went through my son's bin and kept a few items and sorted the rest to sell.

What I didn't expect was the emotion of going through my daughter's bin. Most of my son's clothes were passed down, so it didn't have much sentimental value. But my daughters: I remember when and where I bought outfits while I was pregnant or who got it for us as a gift...re-living the emotions of a first time pregnancy. I felt the tinge with some of my son's stuff, but it really hit me with Faith's stuff. And realizing that I probably am done having kids made it a little harder. I decided to let Faith keep her little premie outfits for her dolls, and I set aside all their firsts: first church outfit, the first day home outfit, first christmas, etc. I'm not one to keep things, and I'm not a pack rat by any means, but I couldn't part with these things. Her little hospital hats especially choked me up, cause they were so tiny and we kept them on her for awhile from her bruising after they tried to suction her. And Caleb's first baby shoes - I can't believe he was EVER tiny!

There I was, in the middle of my basement, surrounded by baby clothes, sobbing like a fool. I'll never have little babies like that again.

What about some of you? Please tell me I'm not the only who gets emotional about their kids growing up. Have you ever had an unexpected emotion from discovering something from your child's infanthood?

Toddler Translator

One of my favorite things about having toddlers & teaching toddlers is listening to them form sentences, ideas, and words. It cracks me up how they pronounce things sometimes. When my kids mispronounce something, I try not to correct it...it usually fixes itself in time anyway and it's just too cute!! Here's are the translations for some of the funny things that my kids say:

“Tit-tar” : Guitar

“Niffles” : Nipples

“Some-be-body” : Somebody

“Honquered” : Conquered

“Fayf” : Faith

“Caybub” : Caleb

“Boodies” : Boobies

“Prylates” : Privates

“Booger” : Burger

“Blight” : The sound a magic wand makes…???

I know there are a ton more, but I can't remember them all...maybe I'll do another installment at a later time.

What are some funny ways your kids or kids you know have pronounced things?

Parenting with Relevance

Yesterday, the hubs and I attending this seminar held at our congregation called "Parenting with Relevance." Our minister, Patrick Mead, was the keynote for the day, and he's nothing short of amazing (plus, his kids have grown up to be amazing as well, so he's a great guy to get parenting advice from). I will never forget hearing him speak as a guest in my Marriage and Family course in college, and lingering on every word he said, even before I had kids. I've heard him talk about parenting before, but I wanted to share a few things that really stuck with me yesterday:

1. The biggest message I took home with me was that our children our designed to be different than us. We're not called to raise carbon copies of ourselves, so we should never expect our kids to be like us, act like us, think like us. They're unique and different because God needed them to be. Let them be who they are. Love who they are and where they are.

2. "God didn't create your babies for you, but for HIM. You have simply been entrusted with their care." WOW. Isn't it so true? We are to equip our children to be ready for the world, to make wise decisions and be a light in a dark world, and prepare them to live without you.

3. Why did God make us parents? 1. To teach us the world is not here for us. He gave us someone to depend on us fully, someone we submit to. Family removes you from the center of the universe. 2. To teach about unconditional love and service. We are to lead by example.

4. Our job is NOT to make our kids happy. Our job is to make them good.

There were so many other wonderful points, but it would take me forever to write it all down. I came away feeling empowered to be the best parent I could be, for God. I've got His kids, and I want to take the best care of them I know how. I want to be able to give them back someday. =]

Precious Moments

I was downstairs working while Faith was playing with her magnetic letters on the fridge in the basement. She strung all the letters together and shouted "Mommy, come look what I spelled."

Anxious, I walked over with her and said "Wow, that's a lot of letters baby, can you tell me what it says?"

After naming each individual letter (and number), she replied "It says, Love GOD with all your heart. Matthew 22:23"

How precious is that?!?!? Just FYI, the scripture is actually Matthew 22:37, but this proud Mama couldn't care less. =]

Kids say the darndest things...

Another installment of 'Kids Say the Darndest Things' and the last bullet point I wanted to cover here. First, let me remind you how cute my kids are:

I actually think they were a few I wanted to remember, but didn't. I need to start writing them down as soon as they happen, but these are the ones fresh in my mind:

1. Last week, I was helping the Dude go potty. I thought he needed to go #2, but he did not. Finally, he got off and I was pulling his pants up, he said "Mommy, I think I just need to toot." and he proceeded to tooting away. I said 'Buddy, are you sure you don't have to go poop?' To which he replied "Nope, I'm just nasty." !!! That's what we say to daddy when he rudely interrupts us with his gastric musical interpretations. Like father, like son.

2. My kids call people 'Silly Goose Pigs'. I'm not sure why, but it's spread like wild fire. While I was at Gulf Coast Getaway, I received this text message from my dear friend Sarah who was selflessly watching my kids for the weekend: "So, Faith just called me a silly goose pig, and I totally thought she called me a silly douche bag!" I have accidentally taught my kids things I'm not proud of, but I don't think that is one of them!

3. This one is hilarious but hard to describe in writing: I'll do my best. Last week at the end of the school day, I had one of the girls come up to me to angrily tell me "Miss Veronica, Faith keeps spitting in my face!" Obviously appalled, cause my kids would never do something like that, I marched right over to her and started accusing her. "Who on earth would you spit in someone's face?" Well, Faith got just as angry back and declared "I was NOT spitting in her face, I was just trying to show her THIS: (this is the part I would love to demonstrate for you, cause I can't really describe it, but Faith proceeded to beat box). If you need the background to this, we've recently released our Praise team CD from church, with is Acappella, so there is some vocal percussion. The hubs also travels in a group, DeeperStill, an Acappella group with vocal percussion. Faith is a big fan. And since the release of our new CD, she has been practicing along! The funniest part was listening to her beat box with an angry face in hopes to describe what she was doing was clearly not spitting! I will have to get her on tape ASAP.

4. I love the mispronunciation of words by toddlers. My current favorites are Caleb's recent discovery of his "Niffles" and Faith's wiping her "prilates" - about the only way to make those two words cute!

My fabulously inappropriate children - You. Are. Welcome.

Fall Happenings

Just uploading some photos for Facebook today from October, thought I'd share. We had a very busy, but fun month! =] Here are the highlights:

My teacher's assistant, Randi, and I dressed as Tigger and Pooh for our preschool Halloween party - I know, cute right? And props to Faith for taking a decent photo!

We decided to bring our bikes to the park one beautiful fall day. They don't get to ride much at home and Caleb hasn't taken his bike out of the basement. They were excited to say the least.

Faith brought her scooter. This kid scooted almost 2 miles around the park!

Faith sitting proudly in front of our carved pumpkins.

My cuties. They love each other. Really.

Looking forward to an eventful November....

Caleb is TWO!!!!

Yesterday, June 5, 2009: My little man turned two! We couldn't afford to throw him a big party this year, but I wanted to make sure we had as much fun as possible....and BOY, did we! Yesterday was completely PACKED FULL of fun, the only way to give you an idea of our day is to give you the break down:

7:30am - Woke up/ fed the kids breakfast/ got everyone ready for the day

9:20am - Took Jeremy to work/was going to stop by small group but no one was there, so changed plans/ran some errands

10:45am - Stopped @ the Kensington Metro park Petting Zoo to check out all the animals while we waited for grandma to get off work.

12:15pm - Caleb chose McDonalds as his birthday lunch (shocker, I know!)

1:00pm - Went to the fire department for kids day to check out the fire trucks! (Which would have been the perfect thing for Caleb, BUT it was over when we got there...so we settled for looking from afar)

1:15pm - Went to my Aunt Dar's to check out her garage sale/ say hello to family/ meet my mom and nephew Braiden

2:00pm - Drove to Castaway Cafe for some birthday fun @ the HUGE indoor playland! (This included opening presents with grandma, snack time, and lots of play time!)

5:00pm - headed home with some very exhausted kids who hadn't napped yet

6:15pm - got home/ played with new toys/ started dinner/ did some speed cleaning for company

7:30pm - Had some dinner with Jon and Holly/ opened more presents/ and had some ice cream cake

9:00pm - Bath time & bed

9:45pm - Rock Band time for adults!

12:00am - CRASH!!!

I think Caleb had a fun day, and needless to say, we were EXHAUSTED! I was so busy yesterday, I didn't even get a chance to talk about this love of my life named Caleb Isaac King. This birthday was particularly hard for me, because it means I no longer have babies in my house, I now have two full-blow toddlers/pre-schoolers to chase after! Also because, as I mentioned in the last few blogs, I don't feel like I got the time to stop and enjoy Caleb's infant-hood as much as I would have liked and watching him grow up so fast breaks my heart a little. Luckily, I always have lots of pictures to help me remember:

Petting the goats @ the petting zoo

A rare moment of peace between these two siblings! LOL (jk, they actually are pretty sweet when they want to be)

Got them to pose for me - and look how cute!

I'm so in love with this guy, it's ridiculous.

Opening his 'Lighming Mckeen' from grandma!

Mommy loves you Caleb, more than you'll ever know!

Update

It's been awhile since I've updated everyone on our family (and included photos). As you know, Caleb is going to be TWO tomorrow....and before I get all sappy again and start tearing up, I'll just tell you that yesterday, I took the kids to Jeepers for the day. We did it for Faith when she turned 2, so I thought it was only fair. Plus, on Wednesdays, it's $5 for the entire day, unlimited rides. So, the kids had a blast, and Caleb rode EVERY ride...including the rollercoaster!!! (Yes, he ASKED me to ride, I did not force him to go...and he did NOT ride it again! LOL) Faith just watched from the sidelines.

Jeremy met us up for dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, where again, Wednesdays is kids night (I'm all about saving money, people!) They had Cha! Cha! the frog walking around passing out balloons, some guys making balloon animals, another dude with a monkey puppet, and got to watch the scuba diver clean the fish tank...what a great place to take the kids (when they're old enough to not be terrified of the place, that is....I still have convince my kids to get past the Crocodile at the front entrance!) I'll leave you with a few pictures:

Conductors on the train @ Jeepers...they love to ring the bell!

The famous flying bananas....the ones I can't walk by anymore in the mall without the kids begging to go in!

My goofballs...driving the fire truck

They were pretty worn out by the end of the night!

Caleb enjoying his birthday sundae @ Rainforest Cafe

We had such a good day....tomorrow, I'm taking the kids out to my mom's for a visit, then off to Castaway Cafe in Howell (the state's largest indoor play area) - so, they should be sleeping good this weekend! 

3, 2, cereal...

Just another sappy blog about motherhood....

I love that Faith is finally at an age where she is a little more independent. The biggest perk is that she entertains herself in the morning till I wake up (or, to be more accurate, till Caleb wakes me up). Tonight, in the middle of our bedtime routine she said 'Mommy, don't forget....when I wake up in the morning, I turn on the tv and push 3, 2, cereal." (I have her trained to turn on channel 320, Noggin for cartoons)! LOL Love that kid. And I love Noggin. =]

And I love my little man. Tonight, I went to check on him, looking absolutely gigantic in his crib now-a-days, seeing him all curled up horizontally. I just watched him for a few seconds, completely in denial that he's going to be 2 on Friday. He started to stir and stretch a little bit, and me being the blubbering idiot that I am, teared up realizing that he still moved like an infant, with his precious faces and stretching...I totally had a flashback of holding him in the hospital. That, of course, made me tear up more cause I feel like life was moving so quickly when he joined our family, I didn't always get to stop and enjoy him being an infant, I sometimes feel like I barely remember it.

Just feeling blessed and completely unworthy of the honor of motherhood.

Ready to Roll

This is the conversation I just overheard my (almost) 2 yr. old & my 3 yr. old having that almost brought me to tears, cause they're so grown up!

Faith: "Caleb, are we ready to roll?"

Caleb: "Umm...Gym."

Faith: "Well, we have to go to the store first, then we can go to the gym."

Caleb: "PARK!"

Faith: "You wanna go to the park?"

Caleb: "Umm....yep."

Faith: "Ok, first we need seat belts so we can be safe. We're ready to roll! Let's go to the park!"

Caleb: "YAY! PARK!"

LOL, I love their day-t0-day conversations. Precious. And so safety conscious. Faith is such a mother.

And in other news, Faith just came to me and said, "Mommy, Caleb is trying to eat my lipstip (lipstick). Can you beat him up for me?" - HA. We always say that to each other when we're play wrestling...I guess we need to come up with a new phrase!