9.21.2010

A letter to Peanut

Every year, I write a letter to my children on their birthday.
I also wrote to them when I was pregnant.
I would like to continue this tradition, and you're invited to read along.


My dear sweet Carter,

There's something about knowing your name that makes it so much easier to write to you. I've been wanting to write to you since day 1, but wanted to wait til I could address it with your name. Carter Jackson. My little peanut.

This entire journey for me so far has felt new. Nothing has been familiar, completely different than my first two pregnancies. It's been so special to feel like all these stages and milestones are new again. Even though I've been feeling you move for awhile now, I still wake up every morning so excited for the day when you really kick, to feel life alive inside me.

What has really been new about this journey is how you came to be. I thought my family was complete. I thought I was happy with 2 kids. Then one day, it's as if God tapped me on the shoulder and said "What if you're not done yet? You still have more love to give." You see, Carter, Mommy was being selfish. Sometimes I got tired of chasing after kids. Sometimes I got lazy and didn't want to read books before bed. Sometimes I got selfish and wanted time for me. I thought I didn't have room to add any more responsibility. But I felt the weight of selfishness on my shoulders and knew that God had bigger plans for me and my family. Even in the midst of my selfishness, I gave God a very small window of trust and control, and He knew that's all I needed. God had YOU planned all along...

And I'm so thankful. Already you have turned my world upside down, making me reevaluate my life and what I really want. You've set my priorities back to leaning and trusting in God's wisdom. When I look back at all those things that took up my time and made me tired, I wouldn't trade any of those moments. Those were the times that tried me, shaped me, molded me, challenged me, and made me see what life is really all about. "Life is the messy bits." I know this to be true wholeheartedly.

I can't deny that I'm nervous. A little scared, even. Unsure about how our lives will adjust, what rhythm our family will take, and where we are going to put you! But I rest as ease knowing you will complete our sweet family. I don't deserve you, but here you are. You deserve better than me, but I promise to give you everything I have. We were meant to be together, and I can't wait for the day you become my Valentine.

I love you, Carter.

Mommy.
















26 comments:

Katie said...

So sweet and honest! Thanks so much for sharing this with us!

Lucy Marie said...

Very sweet.

Amy said...

so sweet. loved it...

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

What a sweet letter Vee!

The Local Cook said...

aw, that's so sweet. Wishing you and your family lots of love.

Thanks for stopping by my blog on SITS Day.

Diva said...

What a great letter! Thanks for stopping by my SITS day today!

Jen Currier said...

I called my baby boy "Peanut" while he was still in the womb too (now he's already 5 months old, but still a bit of a peanut!) :) I love the letters to your children idea- it's a great thing they can look back on years from now! (Found you through SITS)

Steph said...

And now I want more kids! Such a sweet letter and great tradition!

Chaplain Donna said...

That is the most beautiful letter I've ever read. It touched me in a special way and made me tap into some feelings I didn't know I had. I appreciate that, more than you know.

Blessings,
Chaplain Donna

Reenie said...

It is such a sweet letter to your little peanut :).

Wishing you all the best... Both of you and all of you.

Cheers.

Jen said...

That is such a nice letter and even better idea to do for your children. It's something they can keep for years to come and know how much their mom loved them from the beginning :)

Melissa aka Equidae said...

loved this letter...reminds me alot on my current opregnancy and feelings! happy sits day

Karen said...

What a great idea! Happy SITS day.

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Beautiful letter! Makes me rethink my plans to be "done." Maybe God has something else in mind? :)

Dani @ OK, Dani said...

Super Sweet. I loved it extra much since Carter is my inmydreams son's name.

Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch) said...

What a great idea! My son is 19 and I wish I would have thought to start this. I am sure you will enjoy reading your letters 20 years from now, as much as they will enjoy reading them!
Best,
Gloria

Jennie Pie said...

Wow. Beautifully written. What a special thing to be able to give to a child. That is such a wonderful idea and I will keep this letter in mind whenever my husband and I are blessed with children.

xoxoxo
Jennie Pie
"Capturing Sweet in the East"

Amy said...

I love the name! :) I have a little peanut due in Feb 2011 too! I cannot wait to find out the gender in a just under two weeks.

Selena and Anna said...

Such a sweet letter. I kept journals for my first two boys when I was pregnant and started one when I was pregnant with my 3rd boy and never got around to doing one for my 4th boy. I feel sad about that but was so busy. I love that you are doing this and hope you keep it up. It is so fun to look back on the journals that I did. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!!!

Found you through SITS.

Anna
www.annieandisabel.com
The Stylish Alternative to the Hospital Gown :-)

StarFireBoutique said...

That is so sweet.Great idea..

Maybe allot to do with Three kids but I keep a journal for My son Xzavior. This way he can read the things he did when he was little and doesn't remember. Also when I'm old and grey he can read to me as well. Good luck to you :)

Cindy said...

This is so beautiful! What lucky children you have! They will cherish these letter their whole lives. What a gift you are to them as they are to you.
Best Wish!
Cindy

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

Carter Jackson is such a sweet name and this was a very touching letter to him! Congratulations!

Happy SITS Day!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Tiffany said...

Happy SITS day! This letter was so beautiful, I wish I was as creative like you and did this for my kids. You children are blessed to have an amazing mom! I can't wait to check out more of your blog! I'm your newest follower!

Vodka Logic said...

what a great letter.. and of course he deserves you..

LisaDay said...

Happy SITS day. Enjoy every moment.

LisaDay

Mandy said...

SO beautiful!!! I didn't have a chance to read this on your SITS day, SO glad I came back to read it (since it caught my eye, but I was so busy and didn't have time to appreciate it fully then!)

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