deja vu

I had the oddest moment of deja vu today...


Your littlest man started clapping today. It's the cutest thing and you can tell he's very proud that he's figured it out. I was sitting on the floor practicing with him while we were both giggling, and I thought to myself 'We need to get it down just right so we can show daddy when he gets home.'


BAM. No wait, that's not right. Why did I think that? I suddenly remembered Faith being almost that exact age, staying at your grandmother's house while you out hunting for the weekend with the guys and she learned how to clap. I got so excited and we practiced all weekend so we could show you when you got back. I may have forgotten that memory had I not re-lived it today with Carter. But I remember the look of pride on your face when you came home and she did it on command for you. Maybe you were showing me that same pride for our little guy.


I haven't had a lapse like that in awhile, one where I actually believe you're not gone. I almost forgot the devastation of realizing I had done that. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a moment with you again.


I also felt that same smile of pride from you today when I finally finished the outside of the house today. Got everything painted, and with the exception of one window that I was too scared to get up on the ladder to do, I hung the shutters. I was pretty proud of myself. I know I'm capable of doing these things, I just really hate when I HAVE to.

BEFORE

 AFTER

What a difference it makes. It feels so fresh and clean and I love it. It's silly that these little things are sometimes what makes me miss you most - I wish you could see it and appreciate it with me.

Your princess is now a ballerina, she started her ballet/jazz class today. I wasn't sure if ballet would be engaging enough for that little ball of energy, but she insisted. I wish you could have seen her dancing today, I could have cried watching her today. The silly grin on her face as she practiced coordinated moves in the mirror was just priceless. I think she is going to love it.

I miss you baby. I hate that you're missing out on our every day mundane-ness.

I love you with all that I am.

Coming together

Our house is really starting to feel like home. A lot work has been done, and a lot more remains to be done, but as we unpack and settle in, it feels good to call this place mine. I promised some before and after pictures because some of them are quite drastic. I only have a few, as the house is obviously still not completely done, but I thought I'd update everyone.

This is the before view of the livingroom, as seen from the front door. Notice that the molding is different colors...not sure what that's about.

And this is the after of the livingroom, as seen from the kitchen entryway. Can't really tell in this picture, but floors were stained and refinished to a walnut color, and crown molding was painted white.

This is the livingroom before. From left to right: Entryway to the kitchen, main floor hall with bathroom, laundry room, garage and basement, stairway, and front door.

And now the after: This is my favorite view of the house. I love the little bump out wall under the stairs and the charming built-in book case at the bottom of the stairs. It's so cozy on a sunny day.

The dining room before: I'm pretty sure this is the most awful wall color I've ever seen. So awful, we decided on an equally awful name for it: 'breastfed baby poo.' Yuck.

After: I really didn't understand the different colored trim in the house, and this room took the longest to paint because there are little teeth in the dental molding. Pretty, but a pain. But the after is well worth it (especially since I'm not the one who painted it! lol) There will eventually be actual pictures in the frames...

Kitchen Before: Light wood cabinets were ok, but I had my heart set on something a little grander...

Ahhh, my kitchen.  Painted walls, trim, and cabinets, refinished the floor and added a desk. Soon there will be an over the range microwave and some beautiful  window treatments.

Can't wait to show you more!

An update

I'm still here. I honestly hadn't opened my computer in over a week, things have been so crazy. My only connection was on FB via my phone. Let me give you all a little update:

I finally closed on a house! This has been a very long process, but I wanted it to be the right decision, and the right house. The house we're in now isn't safe or big enough for our family anymore. I think we've found something that suits us way more. We've been working on it (me and a ton of wonderful people) non stop for a few weeks now and every day it starts to come together a little more, and I am in love with it. It's perfect for us. The best part is, our next door neighbors are wonderful, they have a little boy named Caleb who is 2 days older than my Caleb - and they've all been connected at the hip since they met!

When I get a chance to finally sit down and play with my before and after photos (oh and get the house in order to actually have after photos) I will share them. I will tell you that I am pretty proud of myself for learning how to stain and seal hardwood floors (I had to call in help to sand the floors). There are flaws that will likely bug me more than anyone else, but overall it looks pretty good:

I have been ready to move out for awhile. More than awhile, Jeremy hated this house. Knowing he wouldn't want us here without him made the decision to leave very easy. I never thought twice about leaving it, that is, until this week as I pack up my things. As much as I am not tied to this house and am excited about starting in a better place, it's still painful to leave the last place Jeremy ever lived. Our last home together - our only home together. I can feel the anxiety of seeing it empty creeping up on me.

I have pushed a lot of grief to the back burner with everything going on. Not necessarily on purpose, it's just happened that way. But what I'm finding is that while every day gets a little easier, it also gets a little bit harder, and little more real if that makes any sense. Today has been the first day in weeks that I was just home, getting stuff done, no one around and I went grocery shopping for the first time in awhile. What a disaster. I was completely caught off-guard by the emotions I was going go through just slowing down and doing every day normal things. I cried harder today than I have in months.

There is so much on my heart and mind that I want to write down before I forget, I just don't know when I'll find the time to do it. All I can say for now is that prayers have never been needed more and I will never stop asking for them. Thank you.

Kitchen Makeover - Part I

Some of you know this story, but if not, here's the abbreviated version:

February 7th, we had a warm day and all the ice and snow started to melt...into my house! My kitchen flooded and it was basically pouring in. Jeremy was, of course, out of town so I had to find someone to come take care of the issue. We had a restoration company come in to dry it out, and ended up finding a whole mess of other issues in the kitchen. We have a 2 ft. overhang in the kitchen and it's basically rotted out, down to the studs. Mold, leaks, the works. They tour out that entire wall, so for the last three months, I've been living with no sink or dishwasher (and let me tell you how OVER IT I am!)

After no returned calls, people not showing up, terrible luck, waiting on insurance, etc....we FINALLY got to work on the kitchen!!! We ended up calling my brother-in-law, Kirk, to come over for the weekend and help. Here's the result of the weekend work:

After ripping off the aluminum siding, we discovered it was actually overtop wood siding, probably painted with lead paint. Awesome.

Probably the most fun part of the project for the boys - demolition!

Goodbye rotted wall....hello breeze! Praise the Lord for a nice weather weekend.

Kirk is a pretty handy guy - he did most of the work.

End of day 1 - wall up. siding started. Electricity back on.

And...a new wall!! We had to get a new meter box, too cause there were a whole bunch of problems with the old one, of course.

Now, white would not be my first choice for siding, but it matches the white aluminum siding on the rest of the house, and since we can't afford to side the rest of the house for now, white will be just fine. It still looks a million times better than before. Nice work boys!! This week, Jeremy and I will be working on the inside...hopefully by this time next week, my kitchen will be put back together! YAY =]

Aside from the construction site that was our house this weekend, I got to have a nice visit with April and the boys. And, I got to meet my 3 week old nephew, Brennen!!! Here are pictures from what went on behind the scenes:

My sweet nephew, Brennen, 3 weeks old.

Faith enjoying her new helmet and scooter!

Cousins - Brennen, Isaiah, Faith, Caleb, and Jack

LOL - Love these kids! They were pretty great all weekend. Can't wait to see them again in two weeks!

Scrapbook room finished!!!

My scrapbook room is finally complete!!!!

When we moved into our house, I instantly claimed this space as my future 'scrapbook space'....it's small, but cozy and just right for me to keep all my things in an inspiring place that's all mine. This is what the room looked like before:

Last week, we started putting drywall up...just on the ceiling and unfinished wall, we left the concrete walls exposed so I didn't lose too much space in the room (it really is tiny already). Jeremy did an amazing job re-wiring the room so I actually had working outlets in there, put some pots lights in to brighten it up, and helped me mud and tape. But I would like to toot my own horn for a second, because I did a lot of mudding, sanding, and ALL the painting myself! This is how it turned out:YAY! I love it! The color of the wall is called 'Sparkler' and is just bright and fun, not a color I would ever pick inside my home (I am nuetral tones kinda girl, but I wanted something different). Once I get this room completely finished, it will have an inspiration wall, and of course, lots of beautiful photos to display. The room already have shelf racks screwed into the concrete that I didn't want to bother with, so Jeremy picked up the perfect brackets and white shelves to match! Just the extra storage I was looking for! Now...the walls are concrete, none of the desks match, nothing is fancy, but I love it!!! I'm so excited to get some scrapbooking done!! Yesterday, in anticipation of using my new room, I caught up on my digital photos and ordered a bunch that I want to scrapbook from Snapfish.com (love that place!)

Fantastically busy

This weekend was packed full for me, in a good way. Let's start with Thursday...

Thursday started with me pricing furniture and ended with me getting an AMAZING deal on a leather furniture set. It's very bitter sweet, considering we've been penny pinching like crazy lately, but I couldn't pass it up it's something I've wanted since I've been married (maybe even longer) and it should last me a really long time! I've never owned a matching set of any furniture cause I could never afford it.

Also note the start of a 'family wall' with a quote I found at Joann's with the picture I got from Jeremy for Christmas - love it.

I also became an aunt again on Thursday!!!! Brennen Tate McIntee was born 10lbs. 4oz. 24 1/2 inches - practically a man already! I'm so proud of April, she's superwoman in my book, and I can't wait to meet my new nephew!

Friday was a busy day for me. I got up early so I could drive to Troy to see my amazing hair stylist and friend, John for a haircut/color. I got there around noon....ended up staying there til 5:00!! But my cut is super cute (as usual) and even though I tried to get purple highlights in my hair that didn't turn out, the color is still really cute. Well, we had guests coming over at 7:00, so I wanted to rush home, finish cleaning, etc. I drove past a Tattoo place, and on a whim (ok, maybe not a whim, cause I had also been thinking about doing it for a long time) and asked how long it would take to get my nose pierced....I think I was in and out in 6 minutes!!! LOL Anyway, I love it and no one has really noticed or thought I already had it, which means it doesn't stick out too much. =] And it doesn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. I couldn't get a decent picture to post, so I'll try again some other time.

Friday night was great with friends, rehearsing for Easter service. Jeremy and I have really appreciated spending time with friends lately, we're so blessed to be making good friends our age in the same life stage as us. It ended up being a very late night, and we got up bright and early for the Easter Pancake Breakfast @ Rochester. Then, I worked Saturday night til 1am, was up at 5:45 to get myself and the fam ready for church and get there early for sound check and run-through, and participated in an AMAZING easter service that moved me in profound ways. (And as a side, my hubby is amazing too, and I have an even bigger crush on him after hearing him sing today).

I've been staring at this picture of Caleb all day - it just makes my heart smile.

My little princess in her easter dress from Nana.

Thankfully, I got to take a huge nap today and relax this evening with my unbelievably adorable kids. Watched some Friends, snuggled with the hubby.....the perfect way to end a perfect weekend. I am ridiculously blessed. =]

Productivity

This week was a great week for me productivity wise. Got lots of cleaning done for Faith's birthday party, and Jeremy's family is coming in today to see our house for the first time! The only major project I have left on the list for today is to clean out and organize my scrapbooking room (which has become a collect-all room the last few months).

This week, I'm most proud of Faith's room. Awhile ago, I painted some canvases for her room and since then, I've been wanting to paint a matching mural on her wall, and never got around to doing it, or could figure out how to. Friday night, with a sudden burst of inspiration and an idea that just might work, I figured out how to get the giant butterfly on Faith's wall, drew it, painted it...and Tada!!!

The pictures really don't do it justice, cause it looks SWEET! I'm so happy with the way it turned out, and so glad to finally have it done! But, I'm not getting else done sitting here talkin' to you people! ha! So, gotta get ready for company!!! =]