Tonight, I again found myself realizing something new in the shadows of surviving tragedy. Went to see 'Captain America' tonight (which was excellent, btw, I think you would have enjoyed it too) and caught myself cringing at violence, however mild, throughout the movie. I noticed it before catching pieces of crime shows and such, but it didn't really come to the surface until tonight.
I realized how desensitized the world makes us. Some minor character gets shot down in a war scene and no one flinches. I found myself analyzing his life. How quickly a life can be taken is shocking...one minute moving and breathing, loving and fighting, the next minute not...I still can't wrap my brain around that. But even beyond that, it wasn't just one life taken, it was life taken from a family, a brother or sister, a parent, a lover, a child, a friend, a community....I know, I know, it sounds overdramatic. And I didn't dwell on it, I just noticed how often we take for granted the fragility of life, and how precious it can be. That one little second where one life ends, ripples into an eternity of more lives changed, rearranged, and altered completely. I would have never thought about that before. I could have never understood how many facets of life would be altered without you here - facets I didn't even know I had. Only in surviving a tragedy do I get that perception on life. Oh, to be ignorant and unenlightened. Guess I have to take the knowledge with me as I move forward.
I miss you. I miss holding your hand at the movie theater. And feeling you squeeze it every few minutes or so...
I love you always and forever.