That's the phrase I now inadvertently use to describe my life since Jeremy died. My life has now been split into two categories: Before Jeremy died and After. These days refers to the 'after'. I catch myself saying it so often. Like when I tell people that I don't get much sleep anymore these days. Not because I have three kids and one of them is 5 months old, it's still because I can't sleep alone. It's still because my bed echoes silence and I inevitably lay in bed crying out to Jer a lot of nights.
Or when I tell people that I don't have time for much these days. That IS because I have three kids, and I'm doing this alone. But the free time I have when I'm not using it to travel or unpack my house, it's spent aimlessly daydreaming about my past, worrying about my future, and sitting under a blanket of uncertainly that I don't know how to uncover.
Truth is, life is hard these days.