wait for me

I've decided that if time indeed does not exist in Heaven and maybe there's no distance between us, then maybe you can't feel my ache for you here. I need you to know it. I need you to watch over us.

I need you to be waiting for me when I get there.

I imagine that outside of my understanding, maybe both is possible. I told Sarah that I fantasize getting to Heaven and standing at the pearly gates, and making a run for it, towards you. I will knock anyone over who's standing in my way, people who get there before me will just have to wait. I give a head nod to God and tell him to hit it and with a 'you got it' nod back, He plays my slow-mo music while we run along side a beach towards one another slowly and dramatically. Sarah said she'll play defense for me and block anyone who tries to get in my path. It will be cheesy and perfect until I finally touch you and then the moment is just ours. I see the look on your face and feel your familiar arms around me and know that I'm home.

These are the daydreams that keep me going a lot of days. It just sucks that I'm so young and will likely have to wait a long time before I get to see you again. Hopefully I won't be old and wrinkly in Heaven. And I hope you're exactly the way I remember you.

I miss you baby. I'm so lonely tonight without you.
I love you always and forever.


Sarah-Life is what you make it said...

what a beautiful scene that will be. Vee: jer knows how hurt you are, he knows this isn't easy and he is ALWAYS watching you and the kids. never forget that!


Jo Julia said...

ah- i get this very well.

i have to disagree with sarah though- none of us knows if they can see us. many believe that there is no time and therefore no sense of deprivation for them- one prominent nyc pastor told me it may be (and this is all admittedly speculation) that for my husband he is singing and turns and there i am. and there is our daughter. one day is like a thousand years- and a thousand years- like a day.

if we never meet here- AFTER of course we greet our spouses- let's meet up there and rejoice.


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