heartbreaking treasure

While I was going through pictures for Faith to take to Camp Hope this weekend, I suddenly felt the need to watch every. single. video sitting in our iphotos library. Many I had not seen. Like this one:

Oh, my heart. 

I don't even have words for it. I've watched a million times in 48 hours, and still can't decide whether to smile or sob. My favorite part is the very last split second, the sweet smile you give to Faith and I feel your contentment and your appreciation for the sweetest of that moment. Love watching you being a daddy, can't believe it will only be through a few videos from now on. A heartbreaking treasure.

I miss you love.
I love you more than anything.

-from "Blessing for Mothers" - the last gift I received from my brother before he died
DAY 12: A Happy Home
Happy the home when God is there,
And love fills every breast;
When one their wish, and one their prayer,
And one their heavenly rest.
Happy the home where Jesus' name
Is sweet to every ear;
Where children early speak His fame, 
And parents hold Him dear.


Kristin said...

So very, very, sweet. I know it is not the same as having your husband with you, but it is a treasure that you have pictures and videos to keep his memory alive. The kids will cherish this, especially as they get older. If you don't already, make sure that you back up your library, externally and off site too. I know that might seem strange to tell you in the same post, but if you are like me, your pictures and videos are some of the most special gifts.

Amanda said...

I have been following your blog for quite some time now and my heart breaks for you. However, my heart broke more for you this week when my own husband went away for three days leaving me with my two small children on my own. It is only a couple days but not being in this territory before I thought how hard it must be for single moms. And THEN I thought of you...and my heart broke thinking of how you do this day in and day out, on top of grieving the love of your life. I don't know you, but you are a strong woman and I am constantly praying for you. I can't imagine trying to make sense of God right now in your life. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing people like me to have our eyes opened to the hurt in this world. I pray many blessings in your life to come. ANd I can't help to think of Jeremy Camp's song, "There will be day, with no more tears..."

kendra said...

oh vee..this is the sweetest video ever..you can just see the love he has for his kids in this video...& that smile..aww..bless your heart & your babies! KNOW that there will be no question when they get a little older & watch this video,they will see & remember how much their daddy loves them!

Danielle_Wright said...

I love that your children will have these videos! I know you value them, but it will let them see their dad as you saw him. My grandmother passed in november and i find myself missing just the sound of her voice. it makes the hole in my heart too big to stand. But a few weeks ago, my cousin found a video of her saying "Merry Christmas". Christmas was one of the few times we could all get together. And hearing just those two words brings back more memories than I thought i had. Those videos, thought not even a fraction of the real thing, will bring so much joy (and unfortunately heartache) to your kids.

Sarah-Life is what you make it said...

its wonderful you came across video. It would be lovely to have on a cd and the kids can pop in a dvd player!

Desi said...

First this video made me smile. So glad they will have this to treasure. We all see his love for his kids in that short video!!! Then I read Danielle_Wright's comment, and I broke down in tears. "And I find myself missing just the sound of her voice." I miss my aunt's voice so badly, and don't ever want to forget it. I can't even imagine that thought of my mother or fiancee, longing to just hear their voice again. Heartbreaking, yet heartwarming at the same time. Thinking of you always!


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