Sarah Beth Photography

I can't really describe the bittersweetness of leaving Youth in Action this weekend. It was one of our last big trips last year before you died, and I wanted to hold on to it forever.

I felt you there this weekend. I always say this, but the DeeperStill guys (or as Faith likes to call them now, "The DeeperStills") keep you alive for me. Or at least they keep you close. So often I find myself feeling you drifting away to becoming a distant memory, even a muddled picture I feel like I made up sometimes, like maybe you weren't real and I made it all up in my head. But their stories and their genuine love for you and our family pulls you close to me every time. We miss the fire and spark you brought to weekends like this.

It was a great weekend. It was a hard weekend. It was a sad weekend. It was a healing weekend. I miss you so much sometimes it makes me sick. But I love honoring you like we did this weekend, and carrying on the things that you loved.

On a completely separate note, Sarah took pictures for me last week. It started as Carter's 6 month shots, and ended up with family photos. There is a hole where you should be, but Sarah has a natural gift and talent, and the pictures turned out wonderful. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing these since I don't have the copies yet but I wanted to keep the watermarks on there for her credit. Love love love that girl, I don't know what I would do without her. And I'm so thankful she's captured moments for our family that I would otherwise never have record of. I know you would love these photos, especially the ones of your beautiful children.

I miss you, love.
I love you with all my heart.

-from "Blessing for Mothers" - the last gift I received from my brother before he died

DAY 9: It Take Courage
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." -WINSTON CHURCHILL
Sometime we mothers have to speak our minds, but perhaps more often, we just need to listen to our kids. It does take courage, but joy and understanding come in hearing their hearts.


Allyson & Jere said...

They really are some absolutely beautiful and fantastic pictures. Especially loved the one of Caleb kissing his sister in the black and white....SO CUTE! You all look wonderful, though I know you don't "FEEL" it. You continue to be an inspiration and amaze me with how you write and your ability to go on, one day at a time.

Christine said...

I always think that these kids look so much like their daddy. And when I see them next to you in the photos, they look just like you too! Such perfect combinations.....

Anonymous said...

those boys are a spitting image of their daddy!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The photos are beautiful and something you'll forever cherish. You're doing a great job and I know this because you're children look "happy" despite everything they are going through. With love and prayer....thinking of you always.

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

OMG! It's crazy how much Carter and Caleb look alike. Beautiful children you have Vee. Hugs and prayers!

Amanda said...

I love these pictures! And I especially love that you wore the bracelet from Dylan. :)

I really appreciate the "blessing" today, as well...

white collar | collar soul said...

I can't get over how beautiful your family is. And Carter, oh my gosh that hair! I was not expecting the firey redness in his hair too!! The picture of the two boys is so great!

Sarah did a great job.

Glenda said...

Beautiful pictures!!!
The boys are daddy's twins :)
and your princess looks like you :)

Kris said...

Your kids look awesomely (is that a word?) happy! i am a complete stranger but looking at you and them YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

hang in there during tough times

kris in mn

Desi said...

Precious. So so so so precious. I love your family.


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