I felt you there this weekend. I always say this, but the DeeperStill guys (or as Faith likes to call them now, "The DeeperStills") keep you alive for me. Or at least they keep you close. So often I find myself feeling you drifting away to becoming a distant memory, even a muddled picture I feel like I made up sometimes, like maybe you weren't real and I made it all up in my head. But their stories and their genuine love for you and our family pulls you close to me every time. We miss the fire and spark you brought to weekends like this.
It was a great weekend. It was a hard weekend. It was a sad weekend. It was a healing weekend. I miss you so much sometimes it makes me sick. But I love honoring you like we did this weekend, and carrying on the things that you loved.
On a completely separate note, Sarah took pictures for me last week. It started as Carter's 6 month shots, and ended up with family photos. There is a hole where you should be, but Sarah has a natural gift and talent, and the pictures turned out wonderful. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing these since I don't have the copies yet but I wanted to keep the watermarks on there for her credit. Love love love that girl, I don't know what I would do without her. And I'm so thankful she's captured moments for our family that I would otherwise never have record of. I know you would love these photos, especially the ones of your beautiful children.
I miss you, love.
I love you with all my heart.
-from "Blessing for Mothers" - the last gift I received from my brother before he died
DAY 9: It Take Courage
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." -WINSTON CHURCHILL
Sometime we mothers have to speak our minds, but perhaps more often, we just need to listen to our kids. It does take courage, but joy and understanding come in hearing their hearts.